Fernando Aguirre, Chairman and CEO of Chiquita, a company well known for bananas, was showcased in one episode of Undercover Boss. Fernando goes undercover as Manuel Gonzales, an immigrant from Mexico who is trying to earn a job at Chiquita. (I will refer to him as ‘CEO Manuel’.)
In the first part of this episode, CEO Manuel goes into a warehouse to understand the processes, procedures, and daily tasks of an employee. At this site, the name of CEO Manuel’s training coordinator is Fernando. The main lessons noticed in this segment about an American workplace are: Small Talk When CEO Manuel initially talks to Fernando, he asks him if he’s married, if he has children, etc. It is good that he poses as a Mexican immigrant. The first day, on the job, I have found this kind of conversation rare amongst Americans in the cities I have worked in. These kinds of questions are considered ‘too personal’ for the workplace. Neither would they be asked or answered as comfortably as between immigrants from cultures where this conversation is common. To understand how to make small talk with Americans, click here for tips.
Value for On-the-job Training Fernando is training CEO Manuel on the operations and tasks of this distribution center. This is not done for the express reason of this television show. Regardless of the task level of jobs in America, a majority of jobs have some kind of on-the-job training program. Even, cashiers in grocery stores and gas stations go through a few days to a few weeks training program on the various tasks the cashier must undertake in any given work day. Even those who bag groceries are trained on the exact technique of doing this job. This adds value to the job and respect for the technique.
Need for Certifications CEO Manuel drives the forklift. He mentions that he took a 45 minute ‘forklift certification’. The certification was either not comprehensive or the on-the-job and on-camera pressure of performing this task clearly got the better of him and he was unable to use the forklift. There are many tasks in many kinds of offices and manual labor types of jobs where some kind of certification and training ahead of time is required. As seen in this episode, one reason for this is to save time during the actual on-the-job training, and to make sure that valuable resources such as time, products, and customer service do not suffer or get wasted due to a break in the process. Direct Communication In this segment, CEO Manual becomes frustrated and wants to know what Fernando thinks of his work. He says to Fernando, “I hope I didn’t slow you down too much.” Fernando says directly, “Yes, you did.” Fernando is able to make a quick assessment of Manuel’s work and decide if he is suited for the job. This is a respectable management trait of many managers in a wide variety of jobs in the USA.
Expressing Frustration Throughout this experience, both CEO Manuel and Fernando show frustration. Fernando shows his frustration by rubbing his hand on the back of his head, and trying to speed up the process. CEO Manuel shows his frustration by exclaiming “Oh boy!” and saying “I wouldn’t hire me.”
Idiomatic Expressions There were a few idiomatic expressions used in this segment. Though we may be able to understand the meaning from the context, it’s not always possible. When CEO Manuel is introduced to Fernando, the manager says “Please show him everything we do from soup to nuts.” This idiom from soup to nuts means from the beginning to the end or from ‘A to Z’ or everything there is to know. When CEO Manuel is flustered about his work on the forklift, he exclaims Oh boy! He is not saying this because a boy is in the way or he is calling out for a boy. Oh boy! is an exclamation of frustration like Oh God! or Oh no!. When frustrated, in some parts of south India, people will exclaim Amma or Appa! or and in north India bapre!. These expressions mean the same thing.
When CEO Manuel exclaims that he does not want to talk to the driver because he slows down the process, Fernando says “It’s good for you; it keeps your blood going.” This idiom keeps your blood going means it’ll keep you on your toes or it will keep you alert, ready, or interested. I also think that in this context, Fernando is being a bit sarcastic to CEO Manuel due to his frustration. These are a few cross-cultural lessons that I learnt and wanted to share with you from the first segment of this episode of Undercover Boss. Below, you can see an abbreviated clip from this segment.
Author, Jennifer Kumar is a cross-cultural coach helping Indians understand American workplace etiquette. If you need assistance, contact her at authenticjourneys@gmail.com. Editor, Sufi Swarup is a freelance editor and writer based in Bangalore, India.
Undercover Boss is an American television show that airs on the station CBS. In India it airs on BBC World.
The basic plot of this show is about a CEO of a major corporation who goes ‘undercover’ and attempts various kinds of jobs within his or her organization. Imagine a CEO cleaning toilets, serving food, doing manual labor, collecting trash, changing hotel beds or any number of other lower paying jobs that do not require as much ‘education’ or ‘status’ as the CEO position.
Taking this show as a series, we can already learn a few lessons:
In America, there is more equality and dignity of labor for white collar vs. blue collar jobs than in other cultures.
In America there is cross-training. People in various positions do various jobs or understand a few different roles in their company.
In most companies, regardless of culture or country, the CEO is so removed from the daily workings of an average employee, that to get into the trenches with them and do their job is not easy.
Being a CEO and understanding how operations and management works for a wide variety of jobs that greatly differ from an office executive job is humbling for a CEO (let alone a big challenge).
There are many processes and procedures in American businesses to keep things on the ‘up and up’ and in a predictable way that offers a quality and consistent product to its customers.
These are a few overarching lessons of the series in general. Specifically, each episode has its own lessons to be learnt. I would like to share with you the lessons that I have learnt from different episodes that will help you understand American work culture as an Indian immigrant in the United States. In this analysis, I will highlight examples of American:
Work habits
Management styles
Training and procedural requirements
Relationship styles
Communication styles – including American idiomatic expressions
Other cross-cultural tid bits as they arise.
As a post script, the bosses and companies showcased in Undercover Boss and in these case studies are not in the typical professions that most desis in the USA work in. There are no (or rare) software companies, medical offices, hospitals, academic institutions, or engineering firms. Whatever be the setting, use these case studies to connect the dots to your work-place. Try to look at these case studies as a cultural blueprint of what to expect on the job at your American workplace. Not everything will translate into your work environment, but some of these things will be noticed at your workplace in different ways. My intention of sharing my lessons with you is to help you find more comfort and understanding on the job, and to be able to interact with your American colleagues better.
Thank you for reading. Have a nice day. Photo credits Microsoft Clip Art
Related Posts: Learn about on-the-job communication and process in an American workplace. Author, Jennifer Kumar is a cross-cultural coach helping Indians understand American workplace etiquette. If you need assistance, contact her at authenticjourneys@gmail.com. Editor, Sufi Swarup is a freelance editor and writer based in Bangalore, India.
Potluck parties are a common feature in the Non-Resident Indian (hereafter, NRI) culture in America. The 'culture shock' and learning curve of such parties has even been bought out in NRI novels such as 'India Was One.' When many NRIs land in the USA, they want to get together, socialize and most importantly eat. These parties happen in the various houses of the NRI community members on a rotating basis. These are not small parties- but can host anywhere between 8 and 20 or more families at once. Since sharing of labor can reduce the stress and pressure on the host, each family or guest brings a menu item to share that everyone in the party can eat (known as "a dish to pass"). Though discussions may happen about who will bring what dish (pot), many times it can be decided at the last minute (luck) based on available ingredients and other dishes not on the menu.
Potluck parties serve a few main purposes or roles in passing down culture. A few roles are:
Social We all like to mingle with people most like us. Potlucks allow the Desi circles to meet up on the weekends when life is not as busy to get together, talk, hang out and be comfortable around others in the same social circle. In small towns, these get togethers are more pan-Indian in nature having NRIs representing different parts of India. However, in bigger cities where there are significant populations of NRIs, these parties become very regional in nature – with focus on ethnic and linguistic groups from different parts of India (Tamil, Telugu, Marathi, Bengali, Punjabi, Gujarati, Kannada, Malayalee, etc.).
Cultural At these potlucks, cultural traditions are discussed and passed down. While some potlucks are organized for weekend socializing, others are organized around children’s birthdays, wedding anniversaries of community members, religious rituals (housewarming - Griha Pravesh Puja, sacred thread ceremonies, baptisms, naming ceremonies for babies, etc.), and of course the multitude of Indian secular (Republic Day, Independence Day, etc) and spiritual holidays (Pongal, Onam, Diwali, Holi, Christmas, etc.). In some cases, potlucks may follow cultural study groups like Bhagavad Gita (where prasadam or holy food is served afterwards), Balvihar (kid’s cultural and language learning groups), satsangs (holy singing groups), or weekly pujas (prayers) at Hindu temples. This may also happen in the mosques (Muslims), gurudwaras (Sikhs) and churches where significant Indian populations frequent.
Culinary Since every guest or family is ‘trying their hand’ at cooking dishes and sharing them, attendees of potlucks get to taste and learn recipes from different Indian traditions. Since all the food is homemade, a slight change of ingredients or methodology can change the final taste quite drastically. In potluck parties, one can learn about the culinary traditions of various regions of India. Although NRI potlucks generally are limited to regional or pan-Indian food, American food is also part of the menu. Potlucks attended by single professionals and married couples without children may restrict American menu options to snacks and baked goods. However, as the NRI families grow, and their children go to school, slowly American foods are added to the menu. Occasionally when a new American menu item is added to the NRI potluck table, it receives a lot of gossip and acclaim. Upon introducing hit recipes to the NRI group, regular group members will start to notice the scores of individual adaptations of a recipe as this menu item is made by different women and bought to the consequent parties.
Limiting the importance of expat potlucks to three criteria is almost unfair. Over the years, reading expat blogs from Indians in the US and Westerners in various countries, I understand that potlucks are important for very similar reasons among various expats in different countries of the world. What are your experiences with expat potlucks and what are some important features of expat potlucks from your point of view? Please share your stories.
Thank you for reading. Photo in this post depicts a Pongal potluck meal had at an NRI party in the USA. (taken by Jennifer Kumar).
Author Jennifer Kumar is a cross-cultural coach helping Indians prepare and adjust to the social, academic and professional cultures in America. Contact her at authenticjourneys@gmail.com to open dialogue. Editor, Sufi Swarup is a freelance writer and editor based in Bangalore, India.
This is the general sentiment of foreigners in India and even NRIs who return to India. It is only once we experience something different and have a reference point of comparison, we realize what the actual differences are. These few traffic and pedestrian rules may not be followed in many parts of India, and will be useful from a safety standpoint when coming to the USA. Always Wear Your Seat Belt If you are a driver or front seat passenger, always wear your seat belt. There are fines for getting caught not wearing it. If you get in an accident and don’t wear it, your car insurance will increase. Each state has different rules for the ages of the backseat drivers having to wear seat belts. Many states have a rule of under the age of 13 have to wear a seat belt. Children under particular heights and weights have to use booster seats. Infants and toddlers must use car seats. It’s illegal to place booster seats or car seats in the passenger seat. They must be placed in the back seat. Do Not Overcrowd Your Car The number of passengers in a car is limited to the number of seat belts available. Do not exceed this number because it can result in a fine. Follow the Speed Limit Speed limits are clearly noted on signs. Unlike some places in India where different vehicles have different speed limits, this would be rare or non-existent in the US. Every vehicle is treated equally. The speed limit for one vehicle applies to all vehicles. Some areas may have a minimum speed limit. Exceeding the maximum speed limit or driving below the minimum speed limit can result in getting pulled over by the police and getting a ticket. Also beware of speed limit changes in construction and school zones. Breaking the law in these areas is more serious on various levels, resulting in higher fines and penalties depending on the state you are in. Stop Fully at all Stop Signs and Red Lights In some areas of India, people come to a rolling stop at red lights and stop signs. Though this can happen in the US, take note that many intersections in cities may have traffic cameras recording your movements and especially noting your license plate number. All they have to do is look up your license plate number and send you a ticket in the mail so it is important to stop fully at all stop signs and red lights. Do NOT Pass School Buses with Flashing Red Lights A school bus has two colored flashing lights. The first color to flash is orange to warn you to slow down, soon the door will open and kids will get out. The second color light to flash is red. Red means STOP. If you pass a school bus with flashing red lights from ANY side, you will get ticketed and in some states you can be put into jail too. Only Pass on the LEFT side Unlike in India where you can pass (overtake) on either side going in the same direction; in the US we can only pass on the LEFT. It’s illegal to pass on the right. The right side is often called the ‘shoulder’ or the ‘side of the road.’ The shoulder or side of the road is not meant for driving. Use the Shoulder for its Intended Uses The shoulder of the road, a concept not readily understood within most areas of India, is common on US roads. The shoulder is the area of the road extending past the white line and to the unpaved ground. The shoulder is reserved for emergencies. If your car breaks down, ‘pull over’ or move your car to the side of the road. If you need to make a cell (mobile) phone call, pull onto the shoulder. (It is illegal to talk on your phone and drive in most states and you can get heavily fined and have points on your license which effects your driving record; which can increase your car insurance). It is always important to remember to turn on your 4-way flashers (hazard lights) when parked on the shoulder of a busy road so that other drivers are aware you are there to avoid an accident. You would do this during the day or night times. Pull Out Into the Road F-A-S-T In India, people have a habit of slowly inching into the traffic. This is not a common practice in most areas of US. People already driving on the road will not slow down to allow you into traffic. Be sure to turn on your blinker (indicator) and wait for a break in the traffic. If you pull out slow into traffic and oncoming traffic collide with your car, you will be at fault and your car insurance premiums rise. Additionally, always take care to use the correct blinker when turning or pulling out into traffic. Accidents that are found at fault of the driver not using their blinker will be fined and reported to their insurance company. Drivers found at fault for accidents generally notice a rise in insurance premiums, are responsible to pay for damages of the other driver’s cars, and may have points put on their driver’s license.
Use Four Way Flashers for Indicating a Problem If your car is not working properly and you have to drive slower than most drivers on the road, put on your four way flashers. This indicates to others driving up quickly behind you that you are going slower. If you are unable to keep up with the traffic and there is a shoulder, it’s appropriate to drive short distances on the shoulder with your four way flashers on.
Pedestrians Pedestrians are, by law, to cross in designated crosswalks. When approaching a cross-walk in a car, slow down. If anyone is walking in the cross-walk stop completely and let them cross. If a driver hits a pedestrian in a cross-walk, that’s a major offense; the driver is at fault. However, in most cases hitting a pedestrian outside a crosswalk, though punishable, the punishment will also fall on the pedestrian for breaking the law and not crossing in the cross-walk. (Those not crossing in the cross-walk are considered ‘jaywalking’. This is an offense in most cities; punishable by high fines and in rare cases, jail time.) This video sums up nicely the problems drivers and pedestrians face while crossing the street outside the cross-walk.
“Looking Both Ways Before Crossing” Whether driving or walking, Americans are taught to ‘look both ways’ before crossing the road or making a turn. Assure that you do this to keep yourself safe. This video on right of way and making left turns sums up this point nicely.
Parking Rules In India, people seem to park their car in any open place, and double and triple park in some cases without penalty (that I have seen, maybe there is in places I haven’t seen). Parking on many roads would be done on the side of the road or on the shoulder. On major highways and toll-roads parking on the side of the road is generally prohibited. Parking on bridges is also illegal in many areas. Double or triple parking seen in cities is done by delivery people, but if normal drivers do it, they are ticketed and it can weigh against their car insurance and points on their driver license. Also assure where you park in cities is allowable and look for any tolls that need to be paid. Some cities stagger parking- parking on one side of the road is allowed one day, and on the other side of the road the other day. Carry dimes and quarters for parking meters and parking fee booths. Some sophisticated meters may allow credit cards. Not all parking garages will allow payments in credit card. Take note that many cities have ‘traffic police’- cops specifically assigned to check parking meters and ticket those who do not comply to the parking rules and fees. Car Insurance Always, always maintain car insurance. Do not let it lapse. When visiting India do not cancel it. In many states a car without car insurance is considered illegal. Many Desis rent apartments or homes, in most states keeping an uninsured car on someone else's property is considered illegal. It has been known that landlords, when they find out about uninsured and unregistered cars will have them towed away. Sometimes the owner can recover the car for a fee, sometimes they cannot. Each state has different rules regarding this. Find out at your state’s Department of Motor Vehicles (DMV).
Additionally, don't forget to visit the Department of Motor Vehicles (DMV) when moving to another state to get a new driver's license. Make your move within the USA more comfortable with the DMV by reading Movingal's tips. I know there are a LOT more driving and road safety rules I can share with you to keep you NRIs safe in the USA, but these are the main ones that come to my mind now.
Stay safe!
Author, Jennifer Kumar is a cross-cultural coach imparting practical tips for cross-cultural adjustment safety and success. Contact her at authenticjourneys@gmail.com
Editor, Jennifer Tam, helps entrepreneurs with business planning and forecasting. Photo credits: Speed limit - rodeomilano @flickr Parking sign - basykes @ flickr
"I get so nervous around my American colleagues, I just hang out with the NRIs. But I know this affects my promotional opportunities. How can I overcome this?"
"I never thought American life would be so difficult! How do I get help?"
Do any of the above questions keep you awake at night? How have you attempted to cope with these problems?
Would you be open to approaching these problems in a different way?
Hello everyone, I am Jennifer Kumar. These are the questions and problems I have helped others just like you solve. I help you face, approach and solve these problems in ways that are not only successful but respect your unique personality, cultural identity and approach to the world. Life is all about change, and I'm not going to lie to you- whether you stay in India your whole life or move to America, you will evolve and change. Mentorship helps you buffer that change and face it with courage, determination and success.
Starting this process is the first step. By coming to this page and reading this, you are looking for answers. You want to solve your problems and gain a deeper understanding. As an American who is living in India for a second time and is married into an Indian family, who has studied and worked in India and USA, I understand both cultures. Being involved in NRI matters in US since 1996, I understand the situations and concerns that bother you - that make you uncomfortable in dealing with Americans.
Americans and Indians do have cultural differences. And though we both speak English- our languages are often misunderstood. I am here to offer you a new approach to bridge these gaps, find understanding and feel more comfortable with Indo-US relations.
The next step is up to you. Do you want to be plagued with these same problems you have been facing day after day and year after year or do you want to take the bold step and do something about it? The question is where do you want to go from here? How about submitting a voice sample today. This video gives all the details.
Transfer of knowledge between customer and client or technicians and lay people is imperative for any project to be successful. Communication and soft skills become all the more important when dealing between cultures, languages and disciplines.
To quote Dr. V. Rajagopal retired Director, Central Plantation and Crops Research Institute (CPCRI), Kasaragod when talking about how knowledge is transferred between scientists and farmers to improve the quality of agriculture in India through scientific advancements, he says,
“It takes time to convince a farmer and for that good communication skills and patience become imperative. Experts must be ready to share, hone their talking skills to help transfer of technology to the fields from the labs.” [sic](source)
Initially someone may wonder how this piece of advice given between farmers and experts (in this case, scientists) could relate to the communication problems that occur during offshoring and outsourcing. Can you make the connection?
So, have you been able to guess the connection? Let me restate that quote with a change of a few terms:
“It takes time to convince a client abroad (or American colleague) and for that good communication skills and patience become imperative. Software developers (project managers, team leads, etc.) must be ready to share, hone their talking skills to help transfer of technology to the various corporations and customer bases they serve from their India operations.”
This is clunky or cumbersome language. Better said,
“Expert computer programmers and coders need to be able to understand the holistic needs of their clients and their client’s customers to understand how the product delivery and potential problems can affect their business growth.”
This is not always easy. Firstly, the developer needs to understand that though he or she may be an expert in software, the developer is not an expert in the field the product is being delivered to. This requires a steep learning curve for the developer. To deliver the best customer service (from an American standpoint), it is important and imperative to understand that discipline’s vocabulary, exact customer base (strengths and problems) and an ability to approach situations and problems from various angles. The biggest problem here is that the Indian educational system, though imparting superb technical training, misses the mark on focusing on communication and soft skills. This becomes the biggest problem for outsourcing projects.
Three Possible Solutions:
Research the Company An employee or independent contractor should be identified to thoroughly research the company. This research can include (but not limited to), what is the problem the company is trying to solve through their products, how the past and current products (including the software currently being assigned) solves the customer problems and is different than past solutions, what kind of problems they want to avoid in their product roll out, how customers will interact with the product, among other aspects. Another, often missing element is understanding the client’s vocabulary. Each discipline and profession has a particular language. What is the corporate lingo (aka words and phrases unique to this company)? The best customer service representatives know how to talk to their customers in a language they understand. This is irrespective of crossing cultures.
Create a Training Program to Deliver to the India Team Based on the research conducted above, a training module must be developed and delivered to the India team for every project in a new company or in a new discipline or delivered to a new customer base. This may seem too time consuming and unnecessary at first. Developers may scoff at this idea thinking they are already experts in their work, and this training is not directly related to their work. Americans would highly disagree. I have come to know of several offshoring and outsourcing projects that within weeks of appointment were canceled because the India team refused to understand the terminology and exact needs of the client they were servicing in America.
Learn Soft-Skills Soft-skills training is imperative to being able to deliver projects effectively. The number one problem many managers identify is improving English fluency. Though this may seem like the problem, with those very conversant in English, there are other more advanced aspects of handling the language besides simply talking. Major problems I have noticed are: an inability to express technical aspects in everyday English or in terminology understood by the client (some of this can be addressed from the above solutions), an ability to command the language to express the same idea multiple ways, an understanding of concepts like open and close ended questions, paraphrasing, reflective listening, extracting specifics, using "I language", being specific and being able to use inflection in speaking. Some of these skills come with practice, while some are cultural-dependent. The bottom line is if the America team is unable to understand the India team due to a basic lack of communication; the project suffers, less opportunity to maintain relationships exist and overall the benefit for the American side is lost.
To avoid the mistakes in this article, invest in these suggestions. The cost in short term will seem high, but in the long run, your company and team could see longer lasting projects, assignment of more projects and, in the long term, better job security for your team and your company. While some may think that these issues are not important as they have not been affected by them please do not let the illusion of this steer you away from understanding its core importance. Communication skills are cornerstone to business. These skills are challenged all the more when interacting cross-culturally. It is important that companies and their employees take this seriously for their own career development as well as company strategic growth.
I used to think so! That’s the main reason I wanted to live abroad; initially.
“When returning to America from Kenya, I instinctively called my family members by the Swahili terms. It just seemed to come like second nature; and I don’t know why since I only spent two years of my life there.”
I remember this quote from a variety of books I read of Americans who immersed themselves into various foreign cultures. I remember reading this with awe thinking, “How could this happen to someone? What kind of experience would make them forget their quote en quote natural ways of being? What did his family think not being addressed in English? Did they understand him anymore? How long did it take him to readjust to US ways? Wow…. he’s so interesting….”
It is very intriguing how someone can move to a different place and adapt so much it appears they have completely changed. At least to the people that thought they knew this man, he suddenly seemed different, foreign. Surely, they had no idea what in the world he was talking about!
Just like so many may be intrigued with me and how I have lived in India (currently for the second time) and adapted so much to the culture, I am fascinated with others who do the same. I am equally fascinated with those who manage to ‘stay the same’ as I find it impossible to do.
Just like that man talking to his American family in Swahili probably thought, people who appear to adapt flawlessly have a different view of ‘identity’ than those who feel that identity is confined to ‘material’ things like food, dress, and even language (though I still struggle with that!). We find our identity in things that we can carry with us anywhere in the world. It may not be easy to carry material items around the world; but we can carry our inner being with us anywhere. Part of this inner being allows us to adapt which can help us find commonalities or at least comfort with locals in most of the places we go.
Is it easy? To coin an American slang “heck no!” Well, while some things may be easy; most of it is downright difficult. Some things, like maybe the Indian head-bob or saying ‘Yes ma’am’ or ‘No saar’ are easy to pick up and do; while other things like truly understanding group culture and always using my right hand (and not my left hand) are. Some behaviors we can adapt to without much conscious effort. Others – the ones that cause us identity problems and culture shock- cause us to wonder about our identity and how or if we should even entertain the suggestion of change. It’s not easy. Sometimes we refuse to change. Sometimes we realize we must change because the adopted culture measures different variables (eg. success, friendliness) differently.
Not everyone adapts the same way. No two people will adapt to or reject the same things. Sometimes that also causes a conflict.
Is it this illusion of change of identity the thing that makes people who live abroad appear interesting? Whether it’s India (stereotypically known as a spiritual country), Italy, Kenya, Ghana, Chile, Philippines, Dubai, America, Japan, or any other country, understanding the local ways and adapting to find comfort and success is NOT easy. It does challenge everything we were raised on. It forces us to look deep within and not live on autopilot. In that way, any country becomes a spiritual country. Sorry, India.
The constant and timeless struggle with identity intrigues us. We are curious when people take the less trodden path and be different. It’s not easy to be different (yes, even in the individualist country of America). It’s easier to stay the same. It’s easier to stay tied to the things that we know. It’s comfortable. It won’t get us in trouble with our family or friends. People we [think we] relate to will always relate to us the less we change. The less effort we have to take to make new friends and meet new people. The less effort we have to take to know who we truly are on the inside.
So, does changing one’s identity through culture shock and adaptation make one ‘more interesting?’ That’s for you to decide. What I can say from going through this experience myself is, I don’t find myself more interesting. I feel I am just living my life. My life happens to take me on the path of living in India; not once but twice. For that I am blessed. I can experience something most from my country don’t have any clue about. And, because of that I have a responsibility to enlighten others. And, having this interesting life (in other’s eyes) has a consequence. Taking the less beaten path of life is not easy. It may sound romantic or bohemian; but, yes, sometimes I am intrigued by the people who appear not to change. I wonder if it is ‘easier’ for them. However, once I have tasted this life of difference and interest, there is NO going back because it helps me grow as a person. I am always challenged. I am always finding excuses to reassess myself because I am continually challenged by my surroundings and those I surround myself with. It keeps me on my toes. Maybe that make me and people like me interesting, I don’t know.
To sum up, understanding our true identity, changing or evolving our identity is interesting. Whether we live in the same place our whole lives or have a chance to move away or move abroad. It’s only once most of us move away from comforts and habits – out of our comfort zone – that we learn more about ourselves. That is only if we are willing to be open and learn.
Do you think people who live abroad are ‘more interesting?’ Why or why not? Do people think you are more interesting because of your global lifestyle? What do you think about that?
Are you considering a move abroad to 'be more interesting'? Living abroad is not easy. I can tell you from experience! It will surely help you grow. If you'd like to talk more about this and brainstorm plans for your move abroad, I am a cross-cultural coach and I specializing in helping you adjust and find comfort abroad. Contact me, Jennifer Kumar, authenticjourneys@gmail.com anytime.
Image reuse under creative commons: paval hadzinski @flickr.
This encouraging remark is a summation of statements I have heard from immigrants to the US from various parts of the world, including my parents who both have lived in the US for more than 50 years and still don’t feel completely American despite their best attempts at raising my sister and I American so we would blend in better. (By the way, I am being sarcastic about the ‘encouraging’ part.)
Facing Change To trackback- is it possible to feel completely comfortable and culture-shock free even in America the country of my birth? To that, I’d answer a resounding NO. That may shock people, but if we all look deeply and truthfully at our lives to say that things never change – that we never face personal transitions or even societal transitions we’d be denying a very real and palpable reality. A living culture, and individuals in that culture, can only be living as they evolve and change. Some changes are good – and some are not always welcome.
Some changes can be downright impossible to accept, agree to and adapt to. This is when the true culture shock sets in. And, when we are out of our native environment, this culture shock is magnified exponentially! How to Face Culture Change Many culture shock experts advice to focus only on the positive and stop complaining about the negative. Easier said than done.
As I am facing culture shock living in India a second time, I began to question this. Is this realistic? Is this good for my mental health? Is this very idea of thinking positive forcing me to remain in culture shock?
Reviewing my own life and professional experiences; especially those experiences giving therapy and coaching to those medically diagnosed with mental health disorders (depression, bipolar, ADHD, autism, schizophrenia and others), I was reminded that though it is not good to always be negative it is equally unhealthy to be in denial also. Extreme negativity and extreme denial cause true mental disorders. I also do not believe positive thinking or positive affirmations work in all situations. If these affirmations are used for the express reason of denying the reality to avoid being negative to release tension this is also not healthy. Culture Shock Inherently is by Nature a Problem So, if you are facing culture shock, it’s most likely because you are unable to handle something negative that happened to you when living, working, studying, visiting or interacting in relationships with those abroad.
To validate this statement, how many complain of culture shock when they are comfortable, things are good, and they enjoy the thrill of change and difference?
Not many, I suppose. So, if you have culture shock, it is because you ARE having some problem with your surroundings, the social customs or other practical issues of your new surroundings. The very nature of problem for most of us is negative. Since we often want to avoid negative feelings; we decide to gloss over this or sugar coat it with positive affirmations. When we choose to always look on the bright side, we fail to dig deeper into the culture to find out the truth about what is going on. Local people may not want to hear about it; but at the same time, if we deny what is happening to us and ‘shove it under the rug,’ the person we hurt most is ourselves. This means we live in denial and become a victim of our surroundings.
Benefits of Complaining Complaining can be good to get the feelings and anger out. Complaining, like anything else in life must be done with moderation. If the complaining forces us into a place of an ‘us vs. them’ mentality or isolation or inability to cope with our new surroundings, we need to stop complaining and use our energies to find out about the local culture, why things are happening the way they do and see how we can adjust to it. Yes, this is not always easy. Most people do not think about why do they or do not do things; often it is ‘just my culture.’ That being said if we use our investigatory skills and keenly observe things and try to think about things from different angles (always asking “Why does someone behave like that?”) we may find the real answer to the situation. If we don’t find an answer, we may at least gain empathy and sympathy for the local situation; a different kind of understanding than we had before.
Disadvantages of Positive Affirmations Sugar coating, glossing over and using positive affirmations in excess is also unhealthy. Firstly, positive affirmations may in some cases do nothing more than give us an inflated ego, which is not useful when facing culture shock. Rather than inflate our egos at these moments, we should humble ourselves and try to see things from their point of view. Be like the baby who is absorbing her environment and simply observe the world around us. Of course, as adults, we don’t want to revert back to baby-hood, it could hurt our egos, but in times like this (extreme culture shock) this technique reaps tremendous benefits. I am not saying this as a coach and social worker with research books to back me up; I am saying this as a person who has experienced culture shock in India and has personally used this technique with success. Denying the reality also will only “help” for so long. I put help in quotes because it really only appears to help. It’s all a big illusion. Think about any problem you have faced in your life (not only culture shock). Did you ever deny any problem you faced? Did you ever deny aspects of any situation you faced because the reality was too painful? Be honest! We are all human and most people are guilty of this, even if they never will admit it publicly. It’s ok. First admit it to yourself. Do you remember what happened when you denied the situation? Did it get worse or better? How or when did it resolve itself? In most cases, such issues only get resolved once we are brutally honest with ourselves, admit we are in denial, face the harsh reality and actively find solutions to get over the problem at hand.
Reflections All these things are NOT easy. I know. I like any human, like you, have faced all kinds of problems in my own life. Denial never fixed one of those problems. Being overly positive about a clearly negative situation did not help, either. Admitting the problem, facing it head on with bravery (and fear!), and finding solutions did however work – like magic!
Magic, like life is not easy. But surviving culture shock is not either. Some people out of their native environments their entire lives never feel completely at ease or accepted in their adopted homes. But some, some of us braver ones who face the fear of culture shock, adaptation, change and personal growth do find more ease and comfort than those living in denial or the la-la land of positive affirmations.
What path will you take?
I understand those who may really need to hear this message may not find this post. If you know anyone who NEEDS to hear this or NEEDS to interact with a professional coach who has been through culture shock, please forward this post and have them contact me- Jennifer Kumar at authenticjourneys@gmail.com
Feel free to share your culture shock experiences below.
When did denial hold you back from finding comfort abroad? When has being positive (denying reality) kept you from moving forward and overcoming culture shock?
137. That's how many posts were posted to Authentic Journeys blog in 2011.
Interactions with you, my clients and experiences from my own personal life have inspired many of the articles which offered readers tips, advice, and help in overcoming various problems faced by culture shock when moving between the USA and India.
I want to share with you the top eleven posts on my blog of 2011 - plus one to grow on!
When moving, we face a wide variety of issues. Some of these issues are delicate topics and not easy to talk about. Not only do they make us disoriented, confused, and miss our home; but they offer us the experience of culture shock. Culture shock, though a widely popular term, is often misunderstood. Hence, many want to know if they have culture shock.
I am impressed that tens of thousands of you have read my blog this year. For that, I am honored and humbled. I am happy that I could offer you something you found useful and relevant to your life. If you are interested in learning how to get started, try taking the Spoken English self-assessment found on this page.
Wishing you and your family a healthy and prosperous 2012.
