Not every situation is easy to talk about. Especially when getting used to another culture and facing culture shock, we encounter so many different things that catch us off guard. Things we thought we knew about suddenly don't make sense in a different environment. Some things are easy to talk about; while others are not so easy to find the answers to. How can we start conversations about sensitive topics?

8 tips to get you started:

Tips on coaching, teaching, or discussing sensitive subjects:

Tip 1:
Ask the person to identify their impressions of the culture as a starting point.

Tip 2:
Ask the person to idnetify social gaffes they have witnessed or made.

Tip 3:
Just do it - Preparing Hands-On Demonstrations

Tip 4:
Find Common Ground or Reference Points

Tip 5:
Blame it on the Culture (aka "It's our culture.")

Tip 6:
Use Pop Culture Reference

Tip 7:
Use a coach, trainer or teacher of the same gender

Tip 8:
Learn from Scratch

While utilizing these tips, keep in mind that deploying them with the correct communication skills is key. Use of appropriate verbal and non-verbal culturally sensitive communication strategies is a big part of the key to effectively delivering these messages. Learning about the situation from their point of view while helping them adjust the best possible way is key. Use of empathy, sympathy, listening skills and understanding through the use of many questions is key.

Often sensitive subjects such as religion, race, hygiene, sexuality (sexual harassment, eve teasing, etc), and others are hard to broach. But, depending on the cultural environment you find yourself in abroad, topics may need to be discussed to help you figure out how to find comfort in a new place. I hope some of these tips can help you to start to find the answers you are looking for.
Image: Microsoft Clip Art

Related Links:
Challenges Faced by Female Expats
What's it like to live in another country?

Hello and Greetings Everyone.

Have you struggled with adjusting to American culture as an Indian?

Have you struggled with culture shock in India?

Do you need help with your cross-cultural relationships and friendships?

Is the inability to speak fluent American English holding you back from the success you deserve?

Do you know anyone preparing to move between the USA and India for studies, work or family life?


I understand the struggles that you will encounter. I have lived through the transitions of moving to India from the USA not once but twice.

My name is Jennifer Kumar. I am an American living in Kochi. I have been here since March 2011. For the last 15 years, I have been living, breathing, and, yes, "eating" American and Indian culture. It's my passion to create harmony between these two diverse cultures and lifestyles. If you are struggling with this, I can help you as I care about your success.

My field of work is coaching in soft skills to help with cross-cultural success.


I focus on helping increase understanding cross-culturally between Indians an Americans. I have chosen this specialty because of my fondness for your country. I began to learn about India in 1996. Since then I have been active in NRI and Indian groups in US, with close ties to Tamil and Malayalee groups. Since 1996, I have lived in India twice. The first time I lived in Chennai for two years, where I earned my master’s degree in Madras Christian College. Following this, I moved back to US for several years, and have now relocated again to India; to Kochi. I am married to a Malayalee and am very happy to be more integrated into Indian culture. I am always striving for a balance between my American and Indian identities. Myself having this struggle, while understanding the beauties of both cultures, I am very passionate about helping Indians be better understood by Americans and helping Americans be better understood by Indians and adapt to Indian culture.


When Indians can understand the inside of American culture from an American who also knows quite a bit about their Indian culture, it is beneficial because:

costly mistakes can be avoided communication mistakes can be minimized better relationships can be formed work can be completed with more ease

academic adjustment will be easier culture shock can be reduced it eradicates myths about American lifestyle sensitive subjects can be handled confidentially

Of course, the same is true for Americans who learn about India from an American who looks deep inside the culture. Besides looking deep into the culture, I will look deep inside of the concerns you are facing to help you find and apply the best solution to the problem that balances productivity, work ethics, and cross-cultural understanding without compromising your identity. I have seen the transformations; and have undergone them myself. I have seen it from both sides of the fence.


That being said, I am a consultant, coach and trainer. I am self-employed. As you will see by my resume, I have already completed some projects in and around Kochi. I am honored to add you or your company to my list of clients.


Projects I Have Experience In Include:
- Cross culture training for short and long term expat assignments. (In person and e-solutions available.)
- One on one and small group American English communication skills (accent reduction, communication techniques, related topics)
- Career Enhancement Coaching. This service enhances employee retention- helping your employees grow professionally along with the growth of the organization. Other corporate programs also available.
- Communication skills coaching. This mediation technique will review, analyze and offer solutions for cross-cultural communication misunderstandings between Indians and American clients.
- Cross-cultural pre-departure classes for Indians planning to study in USA and Americans coming to India.
- Help for Indians to Americanize their resume, prepare for job interviews, and career development
- Help for Indian spouses on dependent visas (H4, etc) to cope with daily life in USA
- Coaching to prepare for cross-cultural and international marriages between Americans and Indians, or for Indians entering into arranged marriages with someone in USA.
- Personality development courses.


The links within this letter will take you to more thorough descriptions of the services provided.

If you’d like to know what past clients have said, click here..

Feel free to peruse my resume and brochures. I am available and pleased to come in and meet you in person at your convenience to discuss further.


Thank you for your valuable time.





Links in this post:
All Services Provided
American English Conversational Coaching
College Brochure
Corporate Brochure
How Indians Can Prevent Costly Mistakes Abroad
Jennifer Kumar’s Resume
Living in US on a H4 (dependent) Visa
Preparing to Study in USA – A Preparatory Program
Testimonials & Success Stories


Additional Links:
Facebook
YouTube

Compiled by Jennifer Kumar


Looking for a one-stop-shop where you can get all the holidays of USA and India in one place?


Look no further! This cross-cultural and multifaith calendar showcases:

• Over 100 celebrations and observances for 2012
• Includes patriotic, national, postal and spiritual holidays for both countries
• 7 Spiritual Calendars in ONE! – Buddhist, Christian, Hindu, Jain, Jewish, Muslim /Islamic and Parsi
• Short descriptions of many with links to more detailed descriptions, stories, rituals

…. An easy way for you to get this information straight to your inbox!!


Send me an e-mail by clicking here and I will sign you up to have all these holidays delivered to your inbox. (I promise not to use your email ID for anything but this calendar subscription.)


No need to Google 'when is...' because holidays in this calendar will be e-mailed to you ONE WEEK (SEVEN DAYS) before the holiday happens so you have enough time to wish your friends and family following different calendars!


Sign up today by sending your email ID to me by clicking here or email me directly at authenticjourneys@gmail.com.


Here’s an embedded form of the same calendar. Enjoy and as always, HAPPY HOLIDAYS!


Looking for a way to balance your cross-cultural lifestyle, but find it overwhelming? Maybe you just entered a marriage to someone of another religion or culture? Or possibly, after years of marriage, you have yet to find a way to balance yours and your spouse's cultures? Possibly you are thinking about marrying cross-culturally but do not know what to consider to assure a more successful marriage? I am a cross-cultural coach, I am also living a cross-cultural lifestyle in a cross-cultural and multifaith family. I am qualified personally and professionally to help you through coaching! Contact me (Jennifer Kumar) for an initial free assessment at authenticjourneys@gmail.com.

By: Jennifer Kumar


When we are suddenly thrust into another country and culture, we suddenly ‘stick out.’ Previously, blending into the crowds around us, being one of the masses and having some anonymity now becomes a thing of the past. Our foreign looks or dressing style sets us apart instantly.

Even for those of us moving to similar cultures or countries where we may not stick out by our physical features, locals will know we are outsiders by how we carry ourselves, use our language (even if it is the same language), and how we behave non-verbally.


Where we came from; we knew how to interact with people without thinking much. In those habitual interactions, we were more confident about the impressions we set and therefore the other’s impressions of us. However, in a new culture, conducting ourselves as we always used to may not yield the same results, leaving those we interact with confused or unsure how to read us. Their impression of us will not be what we expected.


The more we stand out from the crowd, the more chance there is we may never feel that we blend in. We will always be new to someone. Naturally, overtime we may begin to question our own self-concept as our self-concept is based on both opinions of ourselves and others opinions of us. Charles Horton Cooley coined the phrase “The Looking Glass Self” to explain this phenomenon. Naturally, each person sees us differently; but those from our native background tend to see us as we want to be seen more than outsiders in most cases. Especially, when adjusting to a new culture, meeting new people all the time, we are continually confronted with others perceptions of us all the time. We do not know how they are judging or perceiving us. Are we making a good impression or a bad impression? Sometimes just being ourselves may not seem like enough when our normal cultural mannerisms, language skills, non-verbal cues and other communicative strategies do not work with those in our new community.


Everyone, regardless of an international move struggles with balancing their identity based on our self perceptions and others perceptions of us (the looking-glass self). However, as we evolve and mature, this process takes on a different meaning when we are abroad. Managing ourselves in a new cultural set-up to communicate the best impression to others can be just as difficult as reading locals and understanding what impression they are leaving us with. As we adjust to the culture, and interact more with the locals, we can become more familiar with local ways; formulating our behavior appropriately to be more sure of having others have a positive perception of us, which in turn leaves a good impression.


Have you faced these perception problems in adjusting to living, working or studying abroad? Feel free to share your experiences below. Thank you.




Jennifer Kumar, author, is a cross-cultural coach. If you are struggling with perception issues abroad and want to talk with someone in a safe, confidential environment, contact her at authenticjourneys@gmail.com.



Image credits:
Woman looking into mirror - Alec Couros @ flickr used under creative commons.
Looking Glass Self Image - adapted from Wikipedia used under creative commons.

Jennifer is an experienced Cross-Cultural Coaching Panelist on my Pan-India Coaching Practice ExecutiveCoachingIndia.Net. I therefore encouraged her to join me for a session, via Skype, in teaching the value of cross-cultural skills to MBA(HR) students at the Chennai Business School, to enable her to discover for herself the "joy" of imparting knowledge and wisdom to students at B-schools across India. I was highly impressed by her well-researched and professionally delivered presentation. My students especially liked her teaching style ... of combining concepts based on her learning and experience AND conversational case studies based on her personal experience gained from living abroad. I would highly recommend Jennifer if you are looking for a Guest Faculty to deliver a cross-cultural soft-skills awareness program.


Gopal(GD)Shrikanth CEO~Coach|Mentor|Strategist GD@GD360.Net, Founder & CEO of India's Premier CEO|Expat|Business|Executive|Leadership Coach Network, Executive Coaching India .Net

Visit GD's website at ExecutiveCoachingIndia.Net.

More Testimonials Here.

Margarita Gokun Silver - Expert Panelist

Margarita Gokun Silver is a global nomad, who was born in one country, holds a citizenship of another, and lives in any one place for only 3-4 years. She is passionate about everything different -- different people, different places, and different experiences -- and she believes that experiencing the world from different perspectives stimulates people's unique talents.

Margarita offers expatriate and cross-cultural coaching and training through her company, Global Coach Center. Whether coaching or training, Margarita's focus is on helping her clients develop intercultural competencies and culture-emotion intelligence. Margarita created a proprietary Culture Mastery 4 C's Process™, an effective roadmap for building competencies across cultures, which she uses in both individual and group coaching/training. In addition to in-person coaching and training, Margarita also offers a wide variety of virtual learning resources through the Global Coach Center Online Academy

Feel free to contact Margarita through her website - click here.

Margarita and I have created the online cross-cultural course, Living and Working in the USA. In this multimedia course, individuals can log on any time of the day or night to learn about corporate, social and US national culture. In the training materials are tools to help you calculate your cultural blueprint, compare it to the American blueprint; learn the cultural gaps and identify tactics to close those gaps. The purpose of the course is to help you better understand US culture to be successful in interacting with your American colleagues, business partners and friends while on assignment in USA.

Margarita is on my team of experts. I consult her about:

• Cross-Cultural and Expatriate Coaching Strategies
• Training Strategies
• Business Strategies
• Program Creation and Marketing
• Partnership Logistics
• Russian Culture -- Living and Working in Russia

More Panel Of Experts.... Click Here

By Jennifer Kumar


In interacting with many who have moved to a different culture, including myself, there is this push and pull factor of integration. We want to remain true to ourselves, but are we able to do that while adapting and adjusting our behaviors and mindset? Are we able to remain true to ourselves when the rest of society, including our family back home uses so many labels to define us? What if our behavior veers from those labels? Will be we scorned, teased, misunderstood by those closest to us? Will we fit in with our family anymore? Will our family recognize us? Will we recognize ourselves?


These are questions many struggle with day in and day out in adapting to a new culture. Those of us who either do adapt or appear to adapt and move between cultures ‘easily’ are looked upon in mystery and intrigue by others. While others may think those who change, adapt and integrate are giving up their ‘cultural identity’ or even ‘forgetting who they are.’


In adapting to another culture, we learn new behaviors, ways of talking, non-verbal cues, and thinking. Each person adapts to another culture differently. No two people, not even two twins will adapt the exact same way. All of us have a unique view of the world and what to expect from it. And what we think others expect from us. All the normal formalities, pleasantries and etiquette that define us as any particular nationality come into question when we move and see how others behave differently. In some cases, we learn new things that pleasantly surprise us. If we are open to the environment, we may learn about new ways of thinking or behaving that seem ‘good’ or ‘better than in our native culture’. We may adapt them. But, we may also see things we don’t agree with, and don’t want to adapt. The struggle comes in when the things we disagree with may be ‘required’ to survive in that culture.


All these new things, all these proposed changes question our very self. Sometimes we adapt behaviors unconsciously simply by integrating into the culture and hanging out with locals. Sometimes, we resist or are unable to change because it takes too much effort to think about the correct etiquette in the situation (even after repeated exposure to those situations). We begin to question how to interact and what exactly we know. Aren’t we adults? Weren’t we already socialized to behave? Our parents didn’t mess up with us?


That is true. Our parents did not mess up with us. They socialized us in the only way they knew how. That’s why even when expats raise their kids abroad, kids may end up acting one way at home and one way in society and at school. The home rules drastically different from the school and social rules outside the house. Though these kids can easily change from one cultural persona to the other, many of these children feel they have split personalities. This too, happens to adults as they are adjusting to another culture: unlearning and relearning things they thought they already knew.


Have you experienced any of these things? Do you have children? Have they experienced any of these things? Do share your impressions in the comments below.



This article was inspired by the article “My Son’s Name is Ivan.” This article is about a Croatian-Austrian-American and how she has struggled with cultural identity within herself and among her family members.

Photo credit: Johnny Grim, creative commons, flickr.


Related Posts:
Adapting to American Culture - Remaining Indian at Heart



Jennifer Kumar is a cross-cultural coach. She helps people explore their identities and come to terms with change when moving between cultures. Jennifer can also help you with cross-cultural skill building a unique process to help you identify and enhance cross-cultural adaptation skills in your own life for easier global transitions. Contact her at authenticjourneys@gmail.com to initiate a conversation with her.