October 2011: Authentic Journeys

“India Was One” – Book Review

Can love really conquer all? Can love bring together diverse cultures that seem at times to mingle only out of necessity but at other times be forcefully territorial about their differences and claims of originality?

India is a diverse country and one of its mottos is ‘Unity in Diversity.’ This clichéd theme can bring together all Indians or drive them apart along linguistic, regional, cultural, geographic, religious, caste, sect, and countless other borders.

This complex theme coupled with the search for a single Indian identity is a theme I pick up from the book “India Was One” by the anonymous writer known only as “an Indian.”

The story narrates the theme through the two main characters Jai and Kahani who meet in college, fall in love, marry and like many other Indians in their socio-economic and educational bracket, end up moving off to America. Jai being from South India and Kahani being from North India represent the quintessential bringing together of the cultures of North India and South India.

For those who want to understand some of the background and mindset of the diversity of India; this book will fill in many gaps. Throughout most of the book, these gaps appear not to be filled in by the characters dialogue, thought process or external scene narration but by a third party akin to a tour guide. For someone new to the Indian context, this kind of narration can be helpful to understand some of the dichotomies, intricacies and everydayness of India.

Capturing the characters emotions and approaches to life felt more natural to me as a reader once Jai and Kahani began their journey from India to the US. Moving between cultures and countries always conjures up emotions and takes people out of their comfort zone. This was well highlighted in the characters once their global journeys began. Probably the most memorable character from my point of view would be Mr. Shah, Jai’s employee who helped them settle down their first few days in the US. Mr. Shah was akin to Jai and Kahani’s “cross-cultural coach” once they landed in the US; taking them around, orienting them to subtle details of American ways. This character was able to offer the accounts of lifestyle and culture through the word of mouth of a character; which made it more interesting and natural to the development of the story.

After some of the ‘dream life’ in the US; completing some Desi tourism and making an American friend, is when Jai and Kahani learn of India’s north south divide and rush back to India to be with their family. The climax and ending of the story will keep any reader hooked through the chaos, emotion and drama that ensues. All that begins so fast without any warning, also ends in pretty much the same fashion. The reader is left in a state of mixed emotions wondering if the conflict really has been resolved or not?

The author’s post script and reflections offer the readers a lot to think about in regards to India, Indian identity and the struggle to pass an Indian identity onto the generations into the future that over the generations will lose touch with India and it’s rich, diverse, complex and beautiful culture.

This review was written by Jennifer Kumar and edited by Sufi Swarup. It first appeared in the Toronto, Canada based newspaper, Asian Connections in March 2012.

India-Was-One-Book-Review from Jennifer Kumar

Read other book reviews on for expats and cross-cultural topics by clicking here.

Related Links:
Buy this on Amazon.com
"India Was One" Official Website
India Interactive Map

My Teacher Gave Me The Wrong Grade, What Can I Do?

In the USA it is possible to contest grades given to you by your teacher.

It occurred to me that requesting a teacher to reconsider a grade can be and is a cultural thing. In how many countries or cultures would the idea of contesting the teacher’s ability to teach and grade be ‘acceptable’? Or, even a thought to cross a student’s mind?

To say contesting of grades is common in the USA is a fallacy. This must be done with careful consideration. I can remember only a few examples from my own life where contesting a grade was done.

The first example is not my own, but a classmate from high school. This high school senior wanted every mark so he could get into a prestigious college in US. He had already aced the SAT and ACT and now was saving every grade and chasing every point so he’d be close to 100 out of 100 or the perfect 4.0 average. Though in my high school we changed classrooms for each class, it just so happens the only class we shared together was the one in which he felt wrongly graded. This grade was not a gross injustice for most people. It was not a lack of 20 or 30 points but a ‘mere’ one point. This one point, he argued would make or break his scholarship to the college of his dreams. But, of course the teacher had a valid stand on the grade she had given him. This matter became a big headache for the student who involved his parents, the other teachers in the department and finally and most notably the principal and superintendant of the school. I knew a drama ensued. The whole student body knew about it. But only few knew the final outcome. I don’t know if he got the lost one mark, but he did get admitted into the prestigious intuition with a full scholarship.

The second example comes from my personal experience. When I was studying at SUNY Buffalo, I took a class in Asian Media Studies. In this class, we had to write a lot of essay exams. Though we only had three or four questions per exam, the main goal was to write the essays in a succinct way capturing all the points from lectures and text books and other references each student studied on his or her own (not provided through the class). I usually cited about four to seven sources, but rather than memorize and regurgitate, I would re-write all these sources in my own words and understanding, quoting whenever necessary. This style of test taking was common among all students, and so the teacher had to spend many hours reading every essay exam to capture all the finer points. Every student’s answers would be different. So, there was one particular exam I felt I was wrongly graded. I had a good relationship with the professor and decided to schedule an office hour appointment with him. Because it was an essay exam, he asked me to come to the appointment with the test paper in question and no other materials. He gave me an oral exam on the spot- or better known in India as a viva voce. After asking me the essay question from multiple perspectives and feeling confident I understood the material, he was able to adjust my grade. I appreciate this teacher for his open minded attitude and his belief in my ability to ‘make the grade’ with him.

So, if you are an international student in the USA and you feel you have been wrongly graded, there is something you can do to rectify this.

Of course, not all cases will end in an adjusted grade, but can offer insight into your teacher’s methodologies, teaching approach and even what he or she is truly expecting to see from you as a student in the grading process. It will truly be a cross-cultural experience.

Do heavily consider approaching teachers twice, thrice or more before actually doing it and don’t make it a habit. We have a saying in the USA; no one wants to ‘become the boy who cried wolf.’ If you are always crying there is a problem (wolf) and it turns out there is no problem, when there really is a problem, no one will believe it. So do take caution and precautions about it. Find out the typical process a student would take in your college by looking through the academic policy of your department or talk to your advisor or international student advisor.

To get more helpful and specific tips on rectifying wrong grades in American colleges, read “What if my student disagrees with a course grade?” written on the College Parents of America website.

Related Posts:
Helping you prepare for your studies in the USA

Tips for How Tests are Graded (another blog)

Tips for Expats Relocating to Dubai

'Tis that time of season when freshly relocated expatriates have more or less settled into the surroundings and situation of their newly chosen home countries. Let's be honest – even in some of the biggest expat hubs such as Shanghai, or Moscow, and even after some time spent acclimatizing, foreigners are still quite easy to spot. Therefore, to help first timers adjust to their new lives in our countries of operations, Move One's relocation specialists have produced a list of very useful tips for a different location every week.Things newbie expats in Dubai need to know: Daily Culture

Workers will always call you sir/madam and will always respond to anything you say with "yes sir/madam". This does not always mean they have understood your request
Be conservative and respectful in the way you dress. Save your beach wear for the beach and not the shopping mall
Work days are Sunday to Thursday
Heat exhaustion is common – make sure you drink plenty of water

Food / Eating Habits

Have breakfast/lunch at the Sheik Mohammed Center of Cultural understanding. A local Emirati will answer all your questions about the culture in Dubai
Friday brunch is a popular family meal offered at most hotels throughout Dubai
Tips are now included in all hotel/tourist restaurants. Always check your bill to make sure you are not tipping twice
You can only buy pork products in special areas of a few shops. Including, Spinney's and Waitrose at Marina Mall

Religious Sensitivity

Friday is a religious day
Pray times are approximately at (depending on the sun) 4.45am, 12.25pm, 3.40pm, 6.25pm, 8.20pm, so do not be alarmed if you hear whaling/singing at these times. This is how the Muslims are called to prayer
The government blocks websites deemed as offensive to the religious, moral and cultural values of the UAE

Picture Taking

Never aim a camera at an Arab woman. Even if you are not taking a picture of her, she may be offended
Workers on public beaches try to take photographs of children. They do not mean to offend just ask them not to do it and they will move on

Alcohol

Alcohol is only served in restaurants within hotels or select sports clubs
Alcohol for your homes can only be purchased with a license.
Not only do you have to get your boss's approval to obtain a liquor license, but you must also get the company's approval to rent property, have a telephone, or get satellite TV

Tying up the loose Ends

Bring lots of passport photographs of all members of the family. It saves time trying to find a shop when you have so many other things to do
Familiarize yourself with the local A&E. There are many hospitals in Dubai, so it is good to know which one can help you in an emergency
There is no door to door postal system. Your will need to arrange a PO Box
Not all residential areas have a great internet connection

Driving

Parking fines and speeding tickets are sent immediately by sms or fax to the registered owner of the car
Cars overtake on the left and right
Roads can be structured interestingly, so be prepared that you might have to drive ten minutes out of the way to make a U-turn.
You can only pay for fuel with cash, no credit cards

Entertainment Visit Expat Echo Dubai and buy a Timeout magazine to learn what is happening in the city Buy an Entertainer guide – save money in restaurants and on entertainment

Find more detailed, additional information on expatriate living in UAE under Move One's UAE relocation country profile.

This article is contributed by Move One, Inc. Founded in 1992, Move One Inc. is a multiple award winning integrated assignment and moving management company, providing seamless international relocation, removal and logistics services across the globe. Headquartered in Dubai, UAE, Move One Inc. offers its international clientele cutting edge relocation and logistics solutions.[sic] [concluded]

The links in this blog are not paid links nor are they services patronized by Authentic Journeys.

Last 3 Guest Blogs on Authentic Journeys:
Culture Shock - Is it Possible to Be Prepared for Everything?
3 Tips to Understanding the Russians
4 Ways to Handle Culture Shock

Around the Block or Around the World- Be True to You

“Around the block or around the world – be true to you” – this is the motto of my coaching. But, what does it mean exactly?

When we move to a new place- no matter how near or far- we will have to make adjustments to our lifestyle. Moving to another country is an extreme adjustment, but it can feel just as extreme to move from a small town to a nearby city in the same country; in the same state when the cultures and lifestyles of the two places are very different. How can we balance our identity when moving to a new place? How can we remain true to ourselves as the unique, special individuals we are?

Surface Similarities
You could ask yourself (instead of paying a cross-cultural coach big bucks to do the same) “What did I used to do enjoy doing in my old place and can I do it here?” You could adjust those answers accordingly to your new living situation and try to live accordingly. When moving abroad; depending on the country this can become and often is the biggest challenge to finding comfort in a new culture. But, this is a problem even when moving within the same country and state depending on how different the two areas are.

Some questions that arise in this process:
How much of my identity is tied up in what I do and how I do it?
Because I can’t do this [thing I used to do] anymore am I still the same person?
If I have to do this [new thing] now, am I still the same person or different?

Deeper Similarities
In this process, we ask ourselves who we are as person in the core- our core values and beliefs about the world.

What kind of person am I when no one is looking?
What kind of person do I want to be remembered as?
What are my core qualities?
Is it possible to remain true to those when moving around the block or around the world?

How much do my inner values dictate my behavior?
How will the behavior remain the same or different when I move abroad?
How much do my surface similarities gel with or conflict with my behavior and values?

The answers to these questions are deep and take time to explore. The key is when exploring surface similarities not to get too tied up in things that aren’t possible to change. In moving to another place, it’s natural our lifestyle will change based on the local circumstances. Don’t dwell too much on the loss – acknowledge it, grieve it, and move on. Spending too much time focusing on what we don’t have or can’t do will cause more homesickness, regret for moving and deeper culture shock. Relying on doing things the way they were done in the old place is not practical or realistic; especially when the place one is moving from and moving to are very, very different on the surface and below the surface (mindset, etc.)

Thank you for reading.

Author , Jennifer Kumar is a cross-cultural coach at Authentic Journeys. E-mail her at authenticjourneys@gmail.com.Do not reprint this article without permission.

Related Posts:
Adapting in America, Feeling Indian at Heart
Are you settled yet?Social, Physical, and Emotional Symptoms of Culture Shock

Safe ≠ Safe Abroad: InterNations and Safety for American Expats in India

By Guest Blogger: Valentina Griffin

The aspects of safety vary across the world. They are influenced by the culture of the people and the layout of the city, as well as by politics and the government’s role in society. Americans are very particular about their sense of safety. Frequently when strolling down streets, a police patrol car will roll by just to check out the general area. When law enforcement fails, many cities in the US have a “neighborhood watch” program, where residents take turns patrolling the area for any suspicious behavior. In addition, video cameras are installed almost obsessively in public places and most Americans carry some sort of pepper spray or alarm system with them when walking about alone.

As a whole, Americans are also very hygienic. Disinfectant hand soaps or lotions, room spray, astringent cleaning materials, sanitizing wipes, etc. are all part of the daily routine. It comes as a shock and repulses most Americans when someone does not wash their hands regularly, shower daily, use deodorant, and wear new clean clothes every day.

These are all things that are not necessarily the norm in a foreign country and which may make an American’s stay abroad more difficult if he/she insists on taking this clean, hygienic and generally safe atmosphere for granted.

India, for example, is a country to which American safety standards cannot be applied, due to its enormous population. As safety and society are closely intertwined, one must first look at the Indian society in order to come up with some tips on safety that an expat living in India should heed.

It is impossible to avoid air, noise and water pollution in overpopulated metropolises. India is full of these. Hand in hand with overpopulation and poor government infrastructure comes poverty, which inevitably leads to a number of illnesses that cannot be avoided. Furthermore, due to the poverty stricken state of many Indians, the petty crime rate is relatively high – pick-pocketing and sometimes more serious burglaries are common.

As an expat in India, it is important that you be aware of the following safety and health issues, and pay attention to these tips:

Water is polluted in India. Do not drink from the tap and buy purified water at stores. If you have none, boil it before using it – even to brush your teeth!
Many Indians believe washing fresh vegetables in a salt and turmeric solution will kill bacteria and worms. Therefore, be careful when eating salads or other vegetables at restaurants and fresh from the market. It is recommended to wash these at home with boiled water and then slice them open to inspect any worms hidden within.
Cook meat fully and try to stick to the freshest products at all times, including produce.
Be sure to check which immunizations are needed for India and get them before moving abroad.
Avoid wandering through streets in the dark and taking unnecessary short cuts.
Be aware of Indian laws and your rights in India. Avoid breaking the law and getting into heated discussions with police or any other city officials.

As there is so much information and issues regarding health and safety in India, some expats may feel overwhelmed. Luckily InterNations – the world’s leading online social network for expats – is able to offer its members abroad in India some sort of support network. With more than 300,000 members worldwide in almost 300 cities across the globe, InterNations has a very large member base in India.

There are over 10,000 expat members spread out across this large continent in the cities of Bangalore, Calcutta, Chennai, Gurgaon, Mumbai, New Delhi, and Pune. Monthly meetings, as well as InterNations Forums on housing, travel, expat Q&A, etc., help members gain footage in a country that is so different from theirs. Tips may be shared and information exchanged online; InterNations members have made valuable friendships and business partnerships.

As there are also a number of Indian citizens in the InterNations India Communities, they are most likely willing to lend a helping hand to expats who have just arrived in India and are still unsure of the cultural and safety values, ensuring that all expats in India remain safe, healthy and happy to live in India!

[sic] [concluded]
The links in this blog are not paid links nor are they services patronized by Authentic Journeys.

Previous 4 Guest Blog Posts on Authentic Journeys:
Culture Shock - Is it Possible to Be Prepared for Everything?
3 Tips to Understanding the Russians
4 Ways to Handle Culture Shock
Getting Into the Groove of Life In India: Three Pieces of Friendly Advice (by Vidya Hebbar and Jennifer Kumar)

Culture Shock - Is it Possible to Be Prepared for Everything?

As someone who has moved around a lot, I hadn’t anticipated the extremes of the culture shock I experienced when I moved to India. I never really set down any roots anywhere and had gotten quite good at assimilating myself into the communities I moved into. I found jobs, I made friends and I learned the local culture well. Before moving to India I investigated all I could about Indian culture so that I could prepare as much as possible. I knew it would be a big change but had little understanding of just how deeply it would affect me.

Shortly after coming here [to India] I began reading articles about culture shock trying to understand some of the things I was going through that I had not expected. I learned about the honeymoon phase then the anger and withdrawal and the phases that I should expect. I got a big scare when most articles said they could last two years and horrified when I read one that said it takes 5-7 years before you feel comfortable. Those all made me think about how anyone would choose to suffer like this for so long, even if it makes sense to stay in the new country and keep going for financial or other reasons. I can’t imagine anyone would choose to fight such circumstances for so long.

Then I ran across your article “Why Can’t I Enjoy Life The Same Way After Moving Abroad?” You provided me a much clearer understanding of just what I was up against and just how many things I was experiencing that were related to the culture shock. I had never seen these things listed in other articles this way and I found it quite eye opening. I’ve always been the type to fix things but without knowing what is wrong I felt powerless against these forces.

Many days since moving to India I have felt like I’m going crazy or that I can’t possibly be experiencing reality. I have questioned my own judgment which is usually pretty good. I have found it extremely difficult to trust people and even the thoughts I have. I often feel exhausted without having done anything. While I don’t feel depressed, I also often feel as if even simple things are too much trouble. I avoid doing them because I don’t want to waste the effort or energy.

I knew that a big part of my frustration and longing for American goods was culture shock and being a normally realistic person I was able to calm myself often by a reminder that I do need to eat and Indian food is good or other similar gestures. I’ve never been against any culture so to find myself completely resistant to anything Indian was quite a shock to me as well. I like Indian food and then all of a sudden I found myself disgusted at the thought of it. I found myself trying to convince my own mind that I wasn’t going to die from eating the food or drinking the water. Unable to find any western style clothes I liked I succumbed to wearing old pajamas I had brought with me and such, clinging to anything American I could find.

In the midst of this shock I completely forgot why it was I left the US. Though I rarely discuss any of it on my blog I left because there was nothing there for me. Despite graduating with the highest GPA available and with top honors, having recommendations from professors and professional contacts I was unable to get a job in my field (Criminal Justice!!). I had (well, still have) a psychotic ex who did everything in his power to keep me down in life. I had a family who didn’t care if I survived life or not and I had lost pretty much everything trying to fight these circumstances. Still, in the midst of my culture shock I wanted nothing more than the comfort that I felt home could provide – not even caring that before I left the US that comfort had not been provided for the majority of my life.

Another aspect you mentioned that I had felt like was only my own arrogance was not getting daily work done. I find it frustrating here in a city where everything is covered in dust and dirt to even attempt to dust shelves, sweep the floor or sometimes even shower. I often felt like there was no point to showering because as soon as you get out you have to cook and the sweat that rolls off your body is just insane. I still showered daily though because the fighter inside of me said that I had to or I would surely gross myself out and slump into a depression. However, feeling like that was such a struggle only brought me more mental stress. I always loved shower time – how could I dread it so much now and feel like it wasn’t needed? I just didn’t understand.So much of what I see and do every day was filled with questions and rarely any answers. I felt like –sometimes still feel like – I don’t know how to live here. I feel like I don’t know how to take care of myself and have even found myself resorting to child like behaviors I haven’t engaged in since I was a baby. Even as a child I don’t recall acting like this and my mother assures me I didn’t so I don’t know how the behaviors are surfacing now.

All of these things combined can really throw you for a loop. Even the most level headed and stable adult could find themselves a completely different person. There are days I don’t recognize myself and I can’t seem to force a change, which only frustrates me more. Going through culture shock can make you a better person, but you have to have the knowledge to understand and fight it. I don’t know if it will be worth it in the end since I’m still going through it, but I’m thankful to find online blogs and articles like yours to give me the tools I need to make it through.

Author, Kristy Kumari is an American Married to an Indian, who has lived in India.

Previous 4 Guest Blog Posts:
3 Tips to Understanding the Russians
4 Ways to Handle Culture Shock
Getting Into the Groove of Life In India: Three Pieces of Friendly Advice (by Vidya Hebbar and Jennifer Kumar)
Going Home Again – Three Tips on Moving Back in With Parents as an Adult by Carolyn Sperry

American In Kakkanad – My Interview in The New Indian Express

My father-in-law who is always encouraging all my crazy antics – which includes adopting various aspects of Indian culture thought it would be a good idea to introduce me to a local journalist, Mr. Shevlin Sebastian.

Mr. Sebastian came to our home and interviewed me on various aspects of our life in India, how Krishna (my husband) and I met and what bought both of back to live in India. In Kerala. In Kochi. In Kakkanad.

A foreigner coming to a country and adapting to the local ways is no story to most Americans. American is built on that concept. India is not. So, any foreigner who comes to India who adapts the local ways, even goes goo goo gaa gaa over the food could be featured in the newspaper! Add to this a layer of having had earned a master’s degree in India and being married in an interfaith and cross-cultural marriage to a home-grown local- well now, for many that’s very interesting and intriguing.

So, here we are. Here I am. In this interview on the front page of the section of The New Indian Express on October 15, 2011. I appreciate Mr. Sebastian for his interviewing and writing talents. I find I am portrayed as normal and level headed as a foreigner in India who’s adapting and adopting to local ways and married to an India! Thank you, Mr. Sebastian.

It’s also a little overwhelming to say the least, to share that front page with big names of Bollywood like Madhuri Dixit, Shah Rukh Khan and of course the Big B (Amitabh Bachchan). Don’t worry; I won’t let it get to my head!
Click here to read the article in it's full text, or read it in the PDF or image below.

Retain Identity While Adjusting to a New Culture

Is it possible to adjust to a new culture; adapt to new behaviors, expectations and mindset while retaining your cultural identity?

Changes will happen as we mature and take up new life roles regardless of living at home or moving abroad. Moving abroad heightens this experience because everyone around us is foreign and behave in ways we don't understand or expect and the problems that we encounter and how we have to solve them take on new meanings.

One reason we travel and live abroad is to experience different ways of life; open our mind to new possibilities. This exciting process of being thrust into a new life can leave us with mixed emotions as we adapt and learn to remain true to ourselves. As we learn new things; we wonder if the 'old ways' or our 'true selves' are being compromised in the process. Is it possible to adapt to new culture and ways of life while retaining one's identity?

I explore that very question in this article embedded in the image below, Give and Take of Cultural Adjustments, which was published in Careers 360 a national magazine published in India.

Read as PDF:

Open publication - Free publishing - More adjustment

Or as an image - click on the image to see a bigger size.

Thank you for reading.

Indian Student Meets American Classroom - Culture Shock is Inevitable

Realizing the American Dream for any immigrant or expat happens by navigating the waters of culture shock. Everyone who comes to the USA from abroad will experience some culture shock. Culture shock is not only inevitable, but normal and a natural part of the adjustment experience.

Brijesh Nair shares his first days studying in a reputed college in Arizona, USA. His writing style will draw you in to the roller coaster ride of excitement, confusion, anticipation, misunderstanding and the other kaleidoscope of emotions experienced when new surroundings and expectations take us by surprise.

Thank you for sharing your real life culture shock experience, Brijesh, which was published in Careers 360, a reputed national magazine in India. Read the article by clicking on the images below to see a bigger size or read it on the Careers 360 website by clicking here.

Why Can’t I Enjoy Life The Same Way After Moving Abroad?

When we move away from home – whether that’s within our own country or to another country, we probably will feel disoriented while settling in and adjusting to our new surroundings, work environment, social circles, daily errand routes and more daily life activities.

In adjusting to all these different aspects of life, we will naturally find some approaches and ways of doing things easy to adjust to; while others really challenge us and we may even resist changing to suit the local needs. Depending on how different the cultures are and the person’s ability to adapt to different situations, to some these changes- these culture shocks feel like little bombs. We may feel frazzled or edgy- not sure when the next “culture shock bomb” will ignite and burst. We can’t run away, but also feel paralyzed as to how to deal with it or solve the problem.

When facing these overlapping and always occurring situations, we may feel a wide range of feelings or experience many different thoughts including:

Emotional Disorientation
Being “a stranger in a strange land”
Thinking all local food is “Odd Food” - and shying away from social activities where local or unfamiliar food is served
Assumptions that locals being anti my foreign culture or language
Feeling unsafe out of the house (Sometimes this is founded, other times it’s unfounded.)
Disoriented in daily interactions (not understanding social cues, verbal and non-verbal language)
Misunderstanding of subtle communication differences
Inability to adjust to the infrastructure (inside and outside the home)
Finding new ways to live with different infrastructure
Climate differences
Getting daily work done
Solving Problems
What things are problems or acceptable in a local context
Having hobbies or fun
Misunderstood
Isolated
Over attachment to identity
Loss of identity through over-identifying with host culture
Criticizing everything
Melancholy
Being suspicious of everyone / unable to trust anyone
Over-dependence on people from their own country
Avoidance of locals
Misery
Interacting with locals based only on stereotypes
Anxiety

If you are experiencing any mix of these symptoms and they are preventing you from enjoying life, you have culture shock. It’s normal. Authors of the article “Understanding Culture Shock” define culture shock as

“the loss of emotional equilibrium that a person suffers when he moves from a familiar environment where he has learned to function easily and successfully to one where he has not.”

Culture shock feelings are like the waves of an ocean- they have an ebb and flow that can fluctuate depending on your unique circumstances. Culture shock has a start point, but depending on the situations being faced has differing end points.

Are any of these symptoms paralyzing your daily life after moving away or abroad? Is fear of adjusting or the unknown in the new culture keeping you back from experiencing your new life abroad? Do you feel confused about adapting and how that will affect your identity? Do you want things to improve, but you don’t know where to start? Talk to your family or friends. If that doesn’t work or it’s too uncomfortable to talk to your family as you don’t want them to worry about you when you’re so far from home, enlist the help of your international student advisor, at-work counselor, or cross-cultural coach. We are here to help you sort out your thoughts, feelings, adapt to your new surroundings to create comfort without compromising your true identity.

Thank you for reading.

Photo credit: Trent McBride @flickr under creative commons

Related Posts:
How Do I Know if I Have Culture Shock?
Understanding Culture Shock
Tips to feeling settled

Jennifer Kumar, author of this post is a cross-cultural coach. If you need some assistance in adjusting to another culture or adjusting back to your ‘native culture,’ e-mail me at authenticjourneys at gmail dot com to start a discussion about how I can help you sort through your situation to help you realize a more comfortable adjustment and lifestyle.

Kochi & Rochester - 3 Common Threads

You may wonder how can two cities with very different cultures and lifestyles such as Kochi, in Southwestern India in the state of Kerala and Rochester, in Northeastern USA in the state of New York have anything in common. Is it even possible?

Myself having lived in Rochester more than six years and now in Kochi more than six months (well to be more accurate 7 months) I think I have uncovered three common threads:

Commuting Times are More Bearable than Bigger Cities
Kochi is surely a bigger city than Rochester, but in Indian terms; Kochi is a smaller city than say Bangalore, Chennai, Mumbai or Delhi. Though road conditions are not as good in most areas as Rochester, the overall commute times from one side of the city to the other is much more bearable than in bigger cities like Chennai or Bangalore (which I have experienced). Rochester, also known as the 20-minute city- has such a reputation because it’s easy to drive between most points – East side to West side or suburbs to city center- within twenty minutes.

Youngsters Prefer to Go Away on the Weekends
New York City is to Rochester as Bangalore is to Kochi. Kochi is very much a family-oriented small city like Rochester so there doesn’t seem to be a lot to do on weekends unless you really know the city very well. Bangalore, on the other hand publishes weekend guides and hotel staff are knowledgeable about local happenings in art, culture, music, local events and more. Though I am still learning about Kochi, and from experience do think Rochester has more easily accessible family activities and stuff for youngsters to do (this is mostly because the main culture of Kochi originates from being invited to family functions like weddings, naming ceremonies, baptisms, birthdays, etc.), I would agree that in both Rochester and Kochi, [younger] people prefer to go to bigger cities to experience the crowds, excitement, busy bodies roaming around, endless choice of food and entertainment and the experience of a place that seems to be more lively throughout more hours of the day and night.

Hard to Break Into a Social Circle / Make Friends
Rochester and Kochi are well-settled cities that while they attract outsiders, a majority of these outsiders are from the nearby areas in the same state. Also both of these cities have been populated over generations by the same families. Yes, there are pockets of each city where newcomers or, in the case of Rochester, foreigners, live but on the whole, most areas are well settled by local people who have been there for generations (and in the case of Kochi, maybe, centuries). Because of this, people already have their social circles set and are comfortable interacting within those circles which of course include localites. The disadvantage of this in both cases is that it’s harder for newcomers (and especially foreigners) to make friends with locals. The advantage is that once a friendship is made, they will be stronger bonds than otherwise.

These are just a few of my observations after having had lived in Rochester, New York for more than six years and Kochi, India for since April 2011 (with experience of visiting the city once a year for three weeks between 2005-2010) and from conversations I have had with citizen and foreign newcomers in both cities. I hope to find more parallels though I also know there are many, many differences.

Thank you for reading.

Related Posts
Rochester Newcomer’s Guide – Finding a Place to Live - PDF Booklet
Rochester, New York, USA Newcomer’s Guide – Benefits of a Central Location - E-book
Greater Rochester Association of Malayalees, NY (Gramny)

Managing Teams In Different Parts of India - Things to Think About

If you will be managing and coordinating teams in various parts of India because of offshoring or outsourcing projects, you will need to know the cultural diversity tips presented in this short post.

Different Languages
Though

business and education is generally conducted in English, each state in India has its own language. Different languages have different scripts. Managers will quickly understand there is no language called “Indian” when they encounter a bouquet of languages – Tamil. Telugu, Hindi, Bengali, Gujarati, Kannada, Marathi, Hindi, Malayalam, Punjabi and countless others. Managers who manage diverse teams in metros will notice social groups and cliques form for lunch and after work. If one studies these groups closely at times it becomes obvious people break into groups based on their language background; and will be talking in their local language on their down time and not English.

Different Holidays
India is truly diverse and inclusive in its observance of holidays. There are government holidays, national holidays and holidays for various religions (Hinduism, Christianity, Islam, Buddhist, Jain, etc.). Depending on the area you live in, the holiday schedule may vary slightly. If you manage teams in different states, keep a holiday calendar for the two areas. Even the same companies will observe different holidays based on the various regions they are located in. A few examples of this would be:

Kerala celebrates Onam in late August / early September. This is not celebrated in other parts of India.
Birthday of Lord Krishna is celebrated for two days in some parts of North India, and for only one day in some areas of South India. Some in South India may celebrate Krishna's birthday on a totally different day than the rest of India, as well.
Diwali the major holiday of a majority of India may not be observed in Kerala.
Sometimes holidays are scheduled, but changed the day before due to wrong sun or moon calendar calculations (case in point with Eid this year, which had it’s actual celebration the day after the officially stated day).

Different Cultures
India is full of different cultures which are not limited to different languages, holidays, and religions. From area to area, you will encounter very different tastes of food, different styles of dress, different attitudes, different family observances and traditions. Family is a major part of life in India and work life and family life balance take on a different aspect in India than in the West. Managers are known to help employees with transportation and even work around challenging family issues that prevent people from working to keep employees on the team. Managers are particularly sensitive to the safety and transportation issues of females, even in big, cosmopolitan cities like Bangalore. Be aware as a Western manager or employee if you are a female, take precautions for your safety. Ask locals for tips to stay safe.

Strikes and Bandhs
Bandh means ‘closed’ in Hindi and is used all over India to indicate a ‘strike’. Strikes are very common in some areas of India for social and political issues. If a strike is called in one area of India, it may not be called in another part of India. Teams may work in one part of India and not in another. Generally, when a strike happens; people do not go out. They may work from home, if that is allowed by the company. However, generally people do not do work or go to school or college on strike days and people stay home. Roads become deserted and people only go out in extreme emergency because there is a chance that fights erupt or people’s cars can get stoned. Depending on the nature and length of the strike, electricity and other utilities can be affected. People generally go out the day before the strike to buy their groceries to avoid going out on the day of the strike.

Do educate yourself on the diverse cultural and safety implications in the various parts of India before sending your managers or employees to set up an office in India. Be especially sensitive to the needs of female employees; helping them realize that based on the area of India, it’s best to be reminded they are not in their native country, but in India where rules are different and attitudes toward women’s safety are different. Maintain a safety plan for your employees in case of any eventuality. Stay safe and all the best with your business ventures in India.

Related Posts:
Outsourced to India - Cultural tips and Considerations on Accommodations.
Tips for adjusting to life in India as a foreigner
Diwali and Onam - A Mysterious Connection

Jennifer Kumar is a cross-cultural coach located in Kochi, India. If you’d like to contact her for more information on your cross-cultural coaching, consulting or training needs, contact her at authenticjourneys@gmail.com. Thank you.

Do I Have the Skills To Adapt to Another Culture?

Have you ever wondered, “Can I adapt to another culture?”

Well, I shall turn that question around on you and ask:

Have you made changes in your life?
Have you ever adapted to anything new or different in your life?

If you ever have:

Moved to various schools as a student….
Tried to make friends in a new peer group….
Got entrance into college….
Researched your new job before interviewing…..
Adhering to company policy at your new job…..
Adapted to changing policy at your current job….
Mentored someone….
Been mentored by someone….
Tried to impress your parents….
Tried to make new friends….
Tried to impress a girlfriend, boyfriend or to-be…..

You have learned something new about someone else and adapted to it to make a better impression.

Before going for a job, you practiced answering mock questions; you probably researched the company through reading their site or asking any friends who work there ‘inside tips’ so you can answer questions more effectively. One can think of ‘inside tips’ as learning part of a mindset or culture of an organization.

Before you had your first date or met your to-be, you asked people about her or him. You wanted to know their hobbies, interests, and philosophy on life so you could impress them that you had something in common with them. Again, these insider tips are part of that person’s mindset, behavior and culture. You tapped into that to impress.

So if we can tap into organizations, colleges, and people in our own culture for insider tips – why is it so scary or different when doing this before going abroad to learn a little more about the people we will study, work or live with? If we already have the skills to research, adapt and make adjustments with people in our own culture to create and maintain a good impression, can’t we take these same skills and use them to create and maintain good impressions abroad?

What do you have to lose? What do you have to gain?

The first impression is that cross-cultural skills ONLY help us when we are abroad. This is a myth. We already have learned cross-cultural skills at home as interacting with anyone else is like interacting in another culture since we have to manage and navigate different approaches to life, mindset, mannerisms and traditions. Doesn’t this take the pressure off? Isn’t this good news?

So, next time you’re facing a challenge cross-culturally, rather than take the situation out of context because it is happening with those from another country or you’re in another country, tap into the skills you used in the past to help you adjust with others in your own backyard. This takes the pressure off and helps you to relax … because you already know how to navigate and negotiate change in your life.