Salary Myths of NRIs Returning to India from the USA

While it's tempting to believe all the stories you hear about those who have returned to India (R2I), it's better to do your research and know the facts.

A recent article in the Economic Times busted a few myths Non-Resident Indians (NRIs) have of moving back to India and working. I will share three of the myths found in that article:

Salaries - Is it always greener on the other side?
Just as people would have given their tall tales about the 'easy life in the USA,' people will give their tall tales about moving back to India - especially when it comes to salary. Don't believe everything you hear. Even if you move back temporarily, if you stay in India for any length of time, it's highly unlikely that you will earn the same salary that you did abroad. Get the details from your company and research the cost of living in the city you will move to (India is more expensive now than when you left, especially for the NRI standard of living in India).

You will NOT be an Expat - You will Earn in Rupees
The main difference between being an expat or not is earning an expat  salary in India. Though there are cases where this can happen, now a days it is rare. Your Indian rupee salary can be 40-70% of the salary abroad (especially if the previous country of residence was the USA). The best way to get your foot in the door in India may be to apply to positions in your current company in the US that are planning offshoring or outsourcing projects. In this way, your reputation is already known, the company is already known, and you may be able to keep some of your position or reputation as compared to starting in a new company where you don't know anyone and have to learn the job from scratch.

The same job in India may not be the same.
The article quotes that Indian managers may hesitate to hire NRIs as they do not usually have experience managing such large teams or projects as those who started their career in India. Look into the details of any new job description, research the company, try to gain some relevant experience abroad if you want to transition to India.

Read the entire article on the Economic Times Website -
NRIs moving from the US to India: How much salary to expect

Posting articles from newspapers and websites that is of interest to the cross-cultural topics posted on this blog will be done from time to time. To see a list of articles in this series, click here.

Read an article written by blog author, Jennifer Kumar and Aseem Juneja, published in Mobility Magazine - Tackling the Issues of Hiring NRIs.

Outsourced to India article series:
Where Will I Stay?
Factors that can Influence Types of Accommodations
Specific Conditions of Accommodations
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What I Dislike About America

Not everything about America is ‘coming up roses,’ nor is the ‘grass always greener on the other side of the fence.’ Being born and raised in the USA, there are many things I love about my country, but there are also some shortcomings.

Here are three things I dislike about America (want to be changed):

Monolingual Nation
Maybe it’s a cliché, but most Americans are spoiled because English is a global language. Though Americans may learn French, German, Spanish or other foreign languages in school, it’s not always with the thought they are to be used in day-to-day conversation. Since America is more or less a monolingual nation, many Americans do not see the value in the practical use of second, third or fourth language fluency. I think this reduces the range of expressions Americans can experience; though on the other hand by having English as our main language and it being so widely spoken; we can interact easier with people from other countries that know English.

Public Transportation ImprovementsBecause most Americans own a car and prefer to be independent, the public transportation systems across America are not that useful; especially in remote areas. For those who live in areas poorly connected by public transport who don’t have a car; transportation becomes a big problem. Though there are Greyhound busses and Amtrak trains for long distance rides, they have limited connectivity. Depending on the rider’s final destination, there may not be public transport from the bus or train’s drop off point to the final destination. Keep this in mind while taking ground transportation.

Rise of Mega-Grocery Stores
Suburbs across America have these huge, sprawling grocery stores that sometimes carry everything under the sun. It’s quite an experience to go through these stores, even for localites used to shopping at these stores. However, the rise of these chain mega-grocery stores has led to the decline of the inner city small grocery stores and mini-marts. Those that continue to exist are forced to sell items at higher prices than these mega stores and are also known for carrying more ready-to-eat, processed and frozen foods. While dairy, frozen and breads are often found at these inner city marts, perishables like vegetables and fruits are a rare find. Unless farmer’s markets are available in cities, people with limited transportation living in inner cities with access to such mini-marts are in deteriorating health. With the high prices found in inner city marts, the residents resign to eating ‘fresh’ fast-food at places like McDonalds which feeds more per dollar than the mini mart, and more than the bus or taxi fare to the mega-groceries and the pain of carrying home all the groceries on the bus.

In your trips or stay in America, keep these shortcomings in mind when planning your travel or your accommodation. These may become hurdles you will have to find solutions to.

It are the shortcomings that make us want to explore other countries and cultures to uncover what we can’t find in our own country. No one likes to criticize their own country. But, without criticisms, we cannot see the reality of what is happening. Through problems arise opportunities for change. Will America identify these problems and create solutions to help those facing these problems? Only time will tell.


Jennifer Kumar co-creator of two cross-cultural training programs: Living and Working in USA – an online multi-media cross-cultural course for those planning to live, work and study in America.

c2011 Jennifer Kumar, do not reprint.
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3 Things I Love About America

I am an American by birth. I believe it’s after my experiences living abroad, I can understand my American culture and appreciate some aspects of it when I am not there.

Here are three things I really love about America:

Multiculturalism
Though every country has it’s own version of multiculturalism, America is known for attracting people from cultures around the globe. In America, a person can meet someone from a remote country or a popular country and learn about their culture and traditions. Also, when there are enough people from that country settled in various parts of the USA, we find restaurants, cultural organizations and ethnic stores that anyone can visit to learn more about diverse, global lifestyles.

Travel is Easy
Traveling from the east coast to the west coast by car is relatively easy in the USA. It’s a big country, but the road network is well connected and such a long trip of 3,000 miles can be done within a few days if no stops are made. Many highways are equipped with free, public restrooms and rest areas along the way to grab a bite to eat, do your laundry or buy some staples. It is also relatively safe to travel alone as a man or woman. With the advent of cell phones, emergency calls can be made almost anywhere. On most highways there are also emergency phones located so many miles apart from each other in the event of an accident or problem.

Emergencies are Easy to Report
911 is a well-known three digit phone number that can be utilized for emergencies in most parts of America. 911 can be used to report fires, medical emergencies, crimes and other emergencies. There is no need to have a long list of hard to remember numbers when 911 can be easily dialed at any time. Once 911 or the emergency number is called, in most areas and cases a police person, ambulance or fire truck can report to the scene within a reasonable amount of time.

Though there are many more things I like about my own country, these three things I appreciate can be appreciated by most everyone that visits America. Enjoy your stay, and stay safe.


Jennifer Kumar co-creator of two cross-cultural training programs: Living and Working in USA – an online multi-media cross-cultural course for those planning to live, work and study in America.

@2011 Jennifer Kumar, Do not reprint.
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3 Tips for understanding the Russians

Let me start with the disclaimer: in no ways will I attempt to educate you on how to understand every single Russian who lives in Russia and beyond. My intention here is simply to help you understand the average Russian mindset, based on three out of the 11 cultural variables of environment, time, action, communication, space, power, individualism, rules, competition, change and thinking (per Cultural Orientations Guide by Joerg Schmitz).
Most of our habits, values, and behaviors can be neatly filed under each one of the above cultural variables and the total sum of those variables will more or less describe what I call our personal cultural blueprints. Not all Russians are going to have the same cultural blueprint just as not all Americans or all Germans or all Brazilians will be same. But there will be close similarities between people coming from the same culture – just as there will be differences between people from different cultures.

The tips you’ll find below will highlight the differences (or the similarities) between your cultural blueprint and the cultural blueprint of the majority of the Russians. In the interest of space and brevity, I’ll choose three variables that I believe are among the most important.

The Cultural Variable of TimeIf you already had a chance to work in Russia or with Russians, you’ll probably agree that most Russians see time as fluid rather than fixed. They understand the importance of time but don’t feel the need to control or manage it precisely. That’s why meetings usually run longer than expected and deadlines have a tendency to slide. The majority of Russians also adhere to a multi-focus mentality of time – that is they’d rather work on a multitude of projects and relationships at any one time. That’s why you’ll often find your colleagues trying to complete several tasks simultaneously and that’s why your staff will think nothing of dropping by your office at all hours to ask you a question or to discuss something (even if you desperately need to concentrate).

The Cultural Variable of ActionThe majority of people in Russia prefer to build relationships first and only concentrate on accomplishing tasks after. This indicates a strong preference for being and that’s why you’ll often find it difficult to create quick friendships with Russians (they take their time getting to know you and getting to trust you enough to call you a friend); you’ll have to invest considerable amounts of time and effort in building relationships with possible business contacts; and you’ll have to earn the trust of every new person you meet.

The Cultural Variable of Communication
Most Russians excel in high-context communication style and they pay specific attention to symbolism, non-verbal cues, and artful language. That’s why sometimes you’ll find your contacts speak for fifteen minutes where you’d think five minutes would have been enough and that’s why you’ll need to watch out for misunderstandings of symbolic and non-verbal clues. Russians are also formal in their communication – the use of patronymic (father’s name) is expected when you address an older person or a person, higher than in you in hierarchy.
What has been your experience with the above mentioned variables?

Margarita Gokun Silver is an Expatriate and Cross-Cultural Coach with experience of living and working in Russia. The post above is based on the online course “Living and Working in Russia” that she developed and on the module of Culture Mastery. Culture Mastery is designed to build intercultural competence and is available as a stand alone program. Margarita can be reached at http://GlobalCoachCenter.com
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Lean on Popular Culture Insight - Tips on Broaching Delicate Topics

The sixth tip in a series of tips on How to Broach Delicate Topics is to:  
Lean on Popular Culture for Guidance and Insight

The use of multimedia like magazines, television and movies can take the pressure off of the teacher of cross-cultural etiquette by focusing the attention on the media. Few steps can be taken in this regard:
  • Choose the theme of discussion.
  • Find the theme in current magazines, newspapers, television ads and shows, movies, popular music and other media.
  • Use these media during the class with the students. Have them brainstorm the messages they see or hear in the media. How does the message make them feel or want to behave?
  • Underlying these messages, how do the class attendees think the messages of the media directs (consciously or unconsciously) people to behave or think in certain ways.
  • Would they be able to adjust their thinking and behavior to adapt to this behavior? Why or why not?
  • Is there anything about DOING this behavior that would create a good impression abroad?
  • Is there anything about NOT DOING this behavior abroad that would leave a bad impression?
  • How can we balance the doing or not doing of this behavior with our own ways of being and acting?
  • As a follow-up, the students can think of examples on this theme from their native cultures and bring them in as a show-and-tell for the other students.
Here are three examples of deodorant commercials from different countries and cultures. They are in different languages, but we can understand from the actions the message they are conveying.

Garnier Men's Deodarant - India (English)

Rexona (Seems to be South East Asia- not sure - maybe Indonesia?)

Rexona (Korean)

Another use of video is to show how people use their body language to react to situations. Here in this Seinfeld clip we see some unfavorable body language and non-verbal cues to seeing a new haircut. What do you think they are saying about the haircut by their body language?  I am unable to embed the video. Please click here to see it.

End of Tip 6
<--Read Tip 5 - Blame it on the Culture


Thank you for reading this cross-cultural teaching tip.
Author, Jennifer Kumar uses videos and other popular culture references to help Indians identify with Americans and American culture through reflection, demonstration and discussion. Check out her training options here.
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“That’s Just How it is Done Here!”

The fifth tip in a series of tips on How to Broach Delicate Topics is to:  
Play by the rules

Overwhelmed by the difference in social mannerisms when abroad, we may feel we not on the right path – that we are going the wrong way. When we behave the way we were socialized at home when abroad, we may be misunderstood and also misunderstand others. It’s natural. For instance, when I studied my Master’s degree in Chennai, India, I encountered many new mannerisms, behaviors and social interactions that made me ask, “Why does that happen in India?” I asked a lot of these questions to all kinds of people. Like small kids ask why the sun is yellow or the sky is blue, I used to ask, “Why can’t I do this? Why should I do that?” in hopes of getting insight and directions on this new cross-cultural map. I know others saw me as being rebellious – as I was asking elders these questions most of the time. Maybe sometimes I was because of culture shock taking over and it was just one more thing to try to understand when I was already overwhelmed. I wanted to understand why I needed to do this or not do that (what kind of impression was I leaving behind and how could I do it better). But rather than find out why, many answered me, “It’s just how it is here. That is how things are done. We don’t question it. Our parents taught us this is correct. We just do it. It’s because it’s our culture.”

Ultimately, in attempts to explain it to me, many simply blamed it on the culture. This is an easy way out- because how many of us really understand why we do what we do? How many take the time to review our unconscious and habitual ways? Many of us do as we were taught or as we seen our parents or elders do regardless of our birth culture, so when we encounter questions about why we do what we do, we could feel strange or even offended to answer. We surely do not know why, so it’s better left to be blamed on the culture.

Everyone is socialized differently. What creates good impressions in one country may not create a good impression in another country. In the case of hygiene, we can blame it on American's noses- as we don't like to smell unpleasant body odors. Read an interesting article entitled "The Great American Nose" found on this page (scroll down a little, right side) that sheds light on this.
Thank you for this tip, Kim Diehl.

American noses do not prefer natural body odors. The main thing to focus on is how to banish natural scents through laundering clothes after each wash and applying products that keep us dry and smelling 'fresh'. Lean it to Americans obsession about particular kinds of smells and that body odor [and the appearance of body odor, such as sweat stains under the arm, or dirty clothes] are barriers to understanding and relationship building in America.

I was asked to discuss hygiene with au pairs coming to the USA. Americans- strongly value pleasant scents, (yes, this is by and large subjective) and will judge someone negatively if they don't smell pleasant. I gave them plenty of examples of advertisements of household products, toiletries and of course perfumes to illustrate the point. In this specific case I linked the message with clear examples of cultural norms and values and it made the message less 'personal', offensive or judgmental.
Thank you for this tip, Valli Murphy

As Valli clearly shares, ‘blaming it on the culture’ makes the learning experience more academic and less personal, offensive or judgmental. We often take for granted what we learned being socialized as children. When we have to learn new ways as an adult to make a good impression abroad, we can feel inadequate. Broaching such topics using the tips in this series can help us about sensitive and taboo topics in a safe space; appreciating why differences exist, how to adjust ourselves and why it’s important to do so to create and maintain a good impression with those overseas.

End of Tip 5
<-- Read Tip 4: Reference Points


Jennifer Kumar helps Indians work and communicate more effectively with Americans without compromising their identity.
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Helping You Prepare to Study in USA – A Holistic Approach

The thought of studying in America excites people worldwide.
The number of international students at colleges and universities in the United States increased by 3% to 690,923 during the 2009/10 academic year, according to the Open Doors report, which is published annually by the Institute of International Education (IIE) with support from the U.S. Department of State's Bureau of Educational and Cultural Affairs.
The article notes that the top sending countries are China and India; with China sending 30% more than in previous years and India sending 2% more than in previous years.

 In preparing to study abroad- what seems like a whirlwind of new processes, forms, tests, and policies introducing you to the culture of the college and the sending country start from the moment one decides to study abroad.

 Educational consultancies abound with assistance on the ‘red tape’: tips on testing, filling out forms, preparing applications and coaching for the ‘dreaded’ visa interview. Rarely, if ever, do these programs give a holistic view – a before and after picture of the life of an international student in the USA. So, what is missing you may ask?

 Cross-cultural adjustment tips in the destination country!

 With all the focus on what needs to be done to get there, there is no importance or very little importance given by the agencies on
The one aspect of the ‘after life in the USA’ that is often discussed however, especially among Indian students is tips for getting on campus jobs and how to start building up a reputation for getting a job in the USA after graduation.

 Immigration Discounts?The one reason for this is that most Indians natural thought process is inclined toward using the study abroad experience for career development, job opportunities and ultimately immigration / migration abroad. City billboards, television and newspaper ads reflect this clearly. With all the focus on ‘how to get to the US’ before hand and getting the job after graduation, the ‘meat and potatoes’ or the real reason for being in the USA is lost- the actual studying, living and socializing part. Though one knows the culture will be different, and even possibly their identity will come into question, there is less awareness of how an insider understanding of the culture and mindset before leaving will help prepare one for the best success after landing. One may assume this can be learned as they go- after arriving it will naturally be understood. If this were true, would culture shock exist? Would issues of identity and fear of “over” Americanization be a real worry on people’s minds even before they go?

 It’s not about becoming Americanized!

 Isn’t that a relief!
It’s about learning to create a good impression. Learning strategies for cross-cultural adaptation and more over, identifying what can be adjusted, what is difficult to adjust to and what is impossible to adjust to before going to be mentally, emotionally and spiritually prepared. Having a cross-cultural pre-departure training before going to the US is like a new employee training before starting the job- it’s awareness, it’s etiquette training, it’s understanding a culture and mindset to be more adaptable. When success seems challenging, tips from such trainings can be good to fall back on.

 A student may ask, "Isn’t the international student orientation given by my college enough?"
International student orientations vary widely based on the colleges. Furthermore, though many colleges have these programs, some do not, and many are given only in Fall semesters. So, those entering during other semesters or trimesters or in the summer may not benefit from the usefulness of such programs. Additionally, some international student orientations may go into detail about the college facilities and what to expect on the college campus, but be abbreviated in hopes you will pick it up as you go along. Knowing it ahead of time and possibly hearing it again on arrival is not double trouble, but a good refresher of things to come.

 A parent may wonder, "So many have gone from my country to US before and they have been successful. They did not tell us about culture shock or problems. Why should I pay extra money on this training?"
Well, everyone who has moved abroad has faced some kind of adjustment and possible some degree of culture shock. The thing is no one wants to call home and complain. This will upset the relatives back home and may make them think the person abroad is not able to cope or be successful. A lot is on the line: emotionally, socially (it's a status in many countries to come study in the USA), and of course economically. A child will keep all his or her problems inside so you don't worry about him or her. Allowing your child to sit in this kind of comprehensive workshop while deciding to study abroad or even after deciding to study abroad will help your child with coping skills, cultural adjustment skills and impression management skills. It's an enhancement to their soon-to-be American education. This class is worthwhile - it's educational.

 So if you or your child will be going to the USA to study, you can check out our video for our comprehensive program “Chasing the American Dream: From Take-Off to Landing” that addresses before and after aspects of getting admission into your dream college in the USA!


 If you’d like to attend this course in person (South India) or via a webinar (worldwide)– please contact me we are organizing this. ( authenticjourneys gmail com )


Thank you for reading this article.

Related Posts:
Open Doors 2010 – International Students in USA
Four Myths of Studying Abroad
How to Appreciate Home While Moving Abroad
Identifying if you or your child has culture shock
Setting educational and career goals (a worksheet)



Jennifer Kumar co-creator of two cross-cultural training programs: “Chasing the American Dream: From Take Off to Landing” a comprehensive pre-departure preparatory course for students planning to study in the US and Living and Working in the USA – an online multi-media cross-cultural course for those planning to live, work and study in America.
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Reference Points As a Basis for Understanding Cultures


The fourth tip in a series of tips on How to Broach Delicate Topics is to:  
Find Reference Points as a Basis for Understanding.

Reference Point: Business Card Etiquette
In Japan and some Asian countries, business cards are presented to the receiver by the giver with both hands to the receiver. The receiver should also accept it with both hands. Along with the exchange of cards; Japanese will bow to each other. Conversely, in America, business cards are exchanged between both parties at the same time. The giver uses their right hand to hand over the card to the receiver’s left hand and visa versa. There is no bowing between Americans. (More about Japanese business card etiquette here.)

Reference Point: Road Infrastructure
In the US since the roads are flat, wide and free of obstacles, potholes and even people and animals; people can drive fast. But, in a place like Sri Lanka or India this is not always true. Infrastructure differences affect the mindset of people; and their expectations are adjusted accordingly.

Reference Point: Access to Water
A person from Japan may be surprised to find that an American with access to a lot of water would have a much shorter bathing ritual than them. The same Japanese may be surprised to know that in India people feel fresh utilizing much less water than they would in Japan.

Reference Point: Changing Climate
In many parts of the US there are different seasons. Within the same season the weather conditions can vary widely. Because of this, people often own many clothes. Different kinds of clothes, shoes, outer and inner wear are needed based on the season. This is not true in some areas of India, or places closer to the equator that have similar weather patterns year round. In these areas, fewer outfits are required because the same kinds of clothing can be worn year round.

Thank you for this tip, Nancy Altman, Certified Global'Ease Coach/Trainer'.

Photo credit:U.S.-Japan Council
End of Tip #3.
<--Read Tip #3 - Learn by Doing

Jennifer Kumar helps Indians work and communicate more effectively with Americans from India and within the US.
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Learn by Doing - Tips on Broaching Delicate Topics

The third tip in a series of tips on How to Broach Delicate Topics is to:  
Use Hands-on demos whenever possible.

The use of hands-on demonstrations are practical and help your mentee or student learn the practical use of the new life, social, or cross-cultural skill. Here are five examples of hands-on demos:

1. New Employee Trainings

This approach is often used in new employee trainings. For instance, when starting work in a hospital or food service position, the company would give a comprehensive training. As part of this training will be hands-on demos of particular etiquette and behaviors required on the job- such as how to greet customers, how to handle customer complaints, how to wrap, store, and serve food, how to clean the premises and how to keep oneself clean and hygienic. The most prominent example is learning the company’s policy on hand washing. Entering many restaurants or store restrooms in the USA, customers see a sign on the door or mirrors stating "All Employees Must Wash Hands Before Returning to the Sales Floor.” Some signs also include instructions on hand washing to refresh the employee’s memory (as pictured to the right). Adapting habits through one’s place of employment is adapting the culture of your corporation.

2. Potty Training
Hands-on demos are also a parenting technique. How does a parent potty train their child? This is a hands-on demo within the family’s cultural circumstances (which vary by country). In some rare cases these demos can be adjusted for adults learning to use different kinds of toilets in other cultures or while on expeditions where toilet facilities are not available. Recently, I was surprised to learn the public restroom etiquette I used in the USA was not shared by other cultures, and taught restroom etiquette to foreigners in the USA.

3. Ethnic Wear
Hands-on demos are popularly used in learning how to wear another culture’s ethnic wear. The national dress of India, sari, can be worn many different ways. If we find a local Indian woman who’s willing to show us how to wear it – this is a hands-on demonstration. Of course, this is not restricted to ethnic wear. A related example is learning how to dress for work in different cultures. The use of models or samples of clothing can be useful. The best hands-on demo would be to take future expat workers to their local shops so they can pick local brands and styles that can be used abroad.

4. Meal-time Etiquette
Another example is learning table or eating etiquette in other cultures. Learning to eat with chopsticks, Western cutlery, or hands if not accustomed to it is best done with a hands-on real-life experience.

5. Doing the Laundry
A last example is hands-on demonstrations for college students and expat workers not accustomed to using a washing machine on how sort laundry and use laundry machines. Laundry machines differ based on make and model. Some models are also only available in certain countries. For instance a ‘dryer’ in the USA is different than what most Indians (in India) think of when they say ‘dryer’. Hands-on demos are the best way to learn to do the laundry – and most of the time this is passed on from mother to children, but it may need to be learned from peers or others when moving away from home for the first time.


Thank you Anna Ridgway and Scott McCall for this example

Jennifer Kumar, author, has given comprehensive multi day cross-cultural trainings in India for those working with Americans. Read more about her services or contact her at authenticjourneys@gmail.com.

Photo credit: Gordon Ross Creative Commons @flickr

End of Tip #3.
<--Read Tip #2 - Cross-Cultural Errors and Mistakes.






Jennifer Kumar co-creator of two cross-cultural training programs: “Chasing the American Dream: From Take Off to Landing” a comprehensive pre-departure preparatory course for students planning to study in US and Living and Working in USA – an online multi-media cross-cultural course for those planning to live, work and study in America.
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Cross-Cultural Errors and Mistakes

The second tip in a series of Tips on How to Broach Delicate Topics is to: 

 Compare and contrast cultural dos and don'ts:
Nobody wants others talking behind our back saying we messed up. We prefer to make a good impression from the get-go when going abroad, or hope when we make a mistake, someone is brave enough to address it so we can try to do it right next time. These exercises will help us think about the social blunders differently.

The second tip in a series of tips on Sensitive Cross-Cultural Conversations – Tips on How to Broach Delicate Topics is to:

Have the person identify social gaffes and misunderstandings.Trainees can identify these social indiscretions in one of three ways:

1. Mistakes they have seen foreigners do in their country.
What made these social blunders wrong? How did they understand this blunder? Were they offended or were their feelings hurt? How did they navigate this in the meeting with the foreigner? Did they have any chance to help the foreigner overcome this problem and learn the local etiquette?

2. Mistakes they have made abroad.
Everyone wants to make a good impression abroad. How did they know they goofed up or made a cultural slip-up? How did they fix the problem? Were they able to use their new behaviors to impress someone else in the new culture? How was the experience? How did it feel to think and/or behave differently? How did it feel to get the response from the mistake then the correct behavior?

3. Mistakes made at home.
We can learn a lot about how to adjust to etiquette adjustments abroad by how we adjusted to applying new etiquette in our own culture or country. For instance, when we got our first job we probably had to learn how to dress to suit that company’s policy, or we adapted phraseology of that company, or we had inside jokes based on that company’s culture and our work experiences there. Similarly, these experiences can be transferred to adjusting to etiquette in other cultures.

The trainer can take this information and direct conversations to cross-cultural etiquette tips based on the country the cultural training is based on. The discussion can also be directed toward personal development. If we know how it feels to make social gaffes – which can be made at home as well as abroad- we will have more empathy for newcomers, forgive their indiscretions and even provide help to them to be better understood and make a better impression the next time. When we learn new etiquette tips in our own or other cultures we will learn a general rule to which we can apply with our own personality or style so we do not lose our identity. This of course takes time, and more comfort and tenderness with ourselves to learn the best ways to fit in.

Thank you, Beth Cauvel, Project Coordinator from the Study Abroad Office at Shepherd University, USA for this tip.

Photo credit: Microsoft Clip Art


End of Tip #2.
<--Read Tip #1 - How it's done abroad.
Jennifer helps your India based team understand the dos and don'ts while communicating with your Onsite members in the US or while traveling to the US for client engagement.
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How is it done abroad? – Tips on Broaching Delicate Topics

The first tip in a series of tips on How to Broach Delicate Topics is to:  
Have the person identify their impressions about cultural practices from the country in question.

Have your conversational partner or training attendees brainstorm all the impressions of the country they are going to. They can identify stereotypes, cultural practices, holidays, dressing styles, food habits, mannerisms, body language, family structure, or anything else they know or think they know about the new country and culture. As the expert of the culture, address as many issues as possible that have been bought out. If any delicate topics (such as hygiene, sexual harassment or others) have not been touched on by your conversational partner or trainees, find creative ways to broach the topics by related topics they have already mentioned.

Conversely, the discussion can be narrowed from the start by choosing a broad topic related to the delicate topic. For instance, “Tell me all you know about American professional appearance.”

In this way the delicate topic (ex. hygiene) is not highlighted prominently and given as part of many other cultural tidbits and etiquette tips. It can also be mentioned that use of local behaviors abroad in that particular country can help the locals relate to you better which helps create a better impression.

Tip submitted by an International Student Advisor in a US Institution.

End of Tip #1.

<--- See list of all tips.

Jennifer Kumar helps Indians work and communicate more effectively with Americans from India and within the US.
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Challenges Faced by Female Expats

Entitled Handle International Assignments with Ease, The Hindu recently ran a very engaging and thought provoking article with tips for female expats. Within I share some of my rebuttal and thoughts on the article.

1. Less women travel alone internationally than men.
The article states "According to a report published by Mercer Consulting, 85% of women travel alone on international assignments as compared to 48% of men."
Jennifer's thoughts: I am not quite sure I understand this statistic. Is this assuming that both men and women represented in these statistics are married? If so, then it can mean a few things. First, it could mean that married women are more apt to go alone because the husband is already working and can't get an assignment abroad or holiday time to go abroad with his wife or that he has to stay home for schooling for the kids. Secondly, it begs the question as to why much less married men would be traveling alone. To this, I'd say that most likely the women are already stay-at-home spouses or moms, maybe they quit their job for this 'better opportunity to go abroad' or any other number of reasons. However, all in all I am not Linksure I understand this quoted statistic enough to really comment further.

2. Social Isolation
The article says "A sense of isolation is also more pronounced in women who may not indulge in after work socializing activities to the extent that men do. These factors coupled with limited mobility in some places that is enforced on women owing to safety concerns, only adds to their sense of a social vacuum and isolation faced by many of them in a new country."
Jennifer's thoughts: The tone here makes it sound like women face more problems socializing abroad than men because they don't feel comfortable in a new culture (and men do). This is my thought, and if this thought is there- I'd disagree that women face this more than men. It supposes women are more weak, shy, and not forthcoming. If that were the case, how would they get chosen to go abroad? And, that also says men do not have problems socializing in a new culture, only women do. I would again disagree with that. It'd depend on the person. Regarding concerns about safety- I think this is not cut and dry. A female expat's view toward safety really depends on where she comes from- that country's view toward women's safety and the country to which she is going. A woman going from a country or culture not encouraging women to step out after dark or alone and going to a country where that is not the norm may face isolation and a social vacuum because her mindset, social conditioning and comfort level with socializing after dark without a chaperone or friends is preventing her from trying something new- even though the new country may be completely safe. I also again would say this varies based on a lot of factors for both men and women - their cultural upbringing, to where they are going, their mindset, their ability to be independent, outgoing attitude, comfort in the language, marital status, area (urban, suburban, rural) and so many more factors. It's hard to generalize.

3. Prejudice or resistance
The article says: "While cross-cultural training programs can help women develop skills in communicating with people from a different culture and ethos, they also need to be specially equipped to manage themselves and others business settings where they may encounter subtle prejudice or resistance."
Jennifer's thoughts: Why is it only women who are going to face prejudice or resistance? This is a backwards way of thinking. Although I don't doubt women (as well as men) may face prejudice or resistance as expats abroad, I also believe that this prejudice or resistance starts at the country of origin - as this is where the ideas of acceptance of expat life as a male or female worker begin.

4. Role of Cross- Cultural Training
Article says: "Cross cultural training is important for both men and women taking up international assignments, but women benefit a lot more from cross cultural training, because they are far more perceptive to vibes and tend to read a lot more between the lines when compared to men."
Jennifer's thoughts: Though I'd agree there are communication differences between men and women, cross-cultural training is required and equally beneficial for men and women. Also, since there are more male expats than female expats- creating more demand for cross-cultural training for females while ignoring males is not the way to go.

Related Posts:
Handle International Assignments with Ease
Reasons to get help from a cross-cultural coach
When do I need a cross-cultural coach?
Why should I get cross-cultural coaching?

Jennifer Kumar is a cross-cultural coach based in Kochi, India providing one-to-one and group cross-cultural training solutions to Indian preparing to work, study and live in USA. E-mail authenticjourneys gmail com.


Image credit: Microsoft clip art
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Marrying Cross-Culturally is MORE than a Cross-Cultural Experience

Meeting someone different is exciting, exotic even. At first we get caught up in the differences out of fascination. We want to learn more about the person. We are drawn in by their different or exotic looks, alluring accent, unique mannerisms, and different approaches to life. We may even like their ethnic food and entertainment.

It’s easy to fall in love when looking outside the box.

Be careful. Falling in love is easy. Staying in love while navigating culture shock and adjustment can be more challenging.

But, one argues, it’d be a great cross-cultural experience to marry outside my culture. And, we love each other. Doesn’t love conquer all?

Ideally, yes. Practically, maybe not.

Meeting a boy friend or girl friend a few times a week can be considered a cross-cultural experience. It is something taken out of your day to day life and unconscious behavior. But, a cross-cultural relationship is not one experience but a string of experiences. It becomes a lifestyle – a way of being. Two diverse lives and lifestyles must merge to form a new one- a new culture combining the ethnic, national and personal cultures of each of these people. Living day in and day out together as a married couple is the first challenge.

Depending on where you decide to live- in your culture, your partner’s culture or in an entirely new culture will also affect how you manage your relationship and adjust [or not] to each other.

And, the most challenging of all challenges is merging with diverse family members. No one lives in isolation. No matter how independent we think we are we will have to at some point or other manage short or long or extended stays with parents, in-laws, aunts, uncles, cousins or other extended family. How will we cope up in communicating (especially if the language is different), eating different food day in and out (and possibly not being able to taste the tastes we crave), and mannerisms? All these are taken for granted when we marry within our culture. Marrying within our culture is also not free of challenges, but marrying across cultures can bring other challenges and rewards not always obvious to those in same-culture relationships.

So, before deciding to marry your foreign boyfriend or your self-arranged marriage with your Facebook girlfriend (I know of a few cases!) have plenty of discussions of personal and family expectations and obligations. Understand the life cycle of someone from your to-be’s culture- birth, child raising, spiritual upbringing, educational and parenting approaches, among many other aspects of life that are taken for granted living in one’s own culture and marrying within it. Establish guidelines and ‘deal breakers’. Of course it’s impossible to navigate and negotiate each and everything- as some things will be learned or uncovered at moments they happen. As maintaining a relationship within the same culture, between cultures it will not be easy – especially if you are blinded by love. It’s better to be safe than sorry – especially when your life and others are at stake.
Photo credit: kacyphoto @flickr under creative common

 ==article concluded==

 Jennifer Kumar is a Cross-Cultural Coach who can help you explore the diverse requirements of you and your to-be to figure out in which direction your cross-cultural relationship or marriage will take. See this page for more about coaching.

 Thank you for reading.

Those looking for serious help and coaching on these topics, paid relationship coaching is available by contacting the author, Jennifer Kumar, by clicking here.  

If you are looking for FREE advice, click here.

Related Posts:
Problems with Americans Marrying Indians
5 Steps to Tackling Culture Shock
Helping Us With Our Cross-Cultural Relationship
Is Culture Shock Real?
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